So, this seems odd, the horsemen have not yet shown up! They were supposed to pick me up to take me in to get fitted for my armor and scepter and throne.
It was supposed to happen today!
Today was surprisingly mundane and non-satanic! I brought maddie t the vet, I had vietnamese food for lunch, I ate some candy.
And in a decidedly non-hellish moment, my air conditioning got fixed.
What. The. Hell?
It’s my birthday! It’s the day! It’s my birthday and it fell on THE DAY!!!! Why have I not risen? I’m gonna duct tape the dogs together to make a cerberus and and jam some chopsticks into my head for horns!
I WILL RULE OVER YOU!!!!!
Other than my lack of rising, I had a lovely birthday, David took me to the Udupi Cafe for South Indian food, we ate until our bellies hurt. I think my favorite was the veggies in the yogurt, carrots, eggplant and zucchini in a coconut and yogurt sauce. We also had masala dosa, I really need to learn to make these at home, they’re like the Indian version of a burrito but the wrap is half way between crispy and chewy. These were filled with spiced potatoes and lentils.
Okay, I think I hear some horse hooves punding fire into the pavement…gotta go
edit
ooooh the air conditioning died again! There’s hope.

I dreamed I was at a live comedy show. The show was interactive and the comedien came out into the audience often to ask questions.
Because it was my dream he came to ask me questions. He asked me what my sexiest fantasy was. I answered.
I told him that I wanted the Spice Girls to play suction cup darts on my naked butt.
yeah, i don’t know either.

After my surgery they gave me a bottle of vicodin to take as needed (up to 8 in a 24 hour period). I took the vicodin. I took the vicodin and chilled and napped and watched movies and chilled and napped and had my picture taken to be placed next to the definition of ‘chilled’ in the dictionary.
Then I started to notice something strange. I was in love with everything! EVERYTHING! Whenever I went to bed it became the most comfortable bed ever. My naps on the sofa were the most comfortable naps ever. My dogs were the funniest things ever, movies had never been so entertaining.
The Friday after my surgery I was making a chicken sandwich (by which I mean I was gracelessly tearing chicken off the carcass with my left hand and slapping it on sloppily mayonaissed bread), I took the sandwich, my baby carrots and my spicy hummus and sat down to watch more Battlestar Galactica. The first bite was good, the second was better.
OH MY GOD!!! This was the best chicken sandwich I had ever eaten! I wanted to get on my cooking group and tell them the secret to the chicken sandwich, I wanted to figure out how to describe it on here so YOU, my faithful readers, would know the love of a good chicken sandwich.
I knew that even if I described it, you would not appreciate it unless you were here with me and I made it for you with my left hand. This was the chicken sandwich prophesied in the bible, “and, lo, the wrong armed temptress would create a sumptuous dish of fowl and multigrained manna and it shall be good”.
Then I realized, whoa, this is just a chicken sandwich. It’s good, but it’s…not phenomenol.
It’s just a sandwich.
That day I decided to stop taking the vicodin. I figured if I kept taking it then chicken sandwiches would only attain this level of attraction while I was on the pills and I would have to take more and more vicodin just to make the chicken sandwiches palatable.
My surgeon told me I had great self control and I didn’t know how to tell her it had nothing to do with self control, I just didn’t want to ruin chicken sandwiches.

am 80 pages into The Lemon Tree and already I know I can only read it in very small chunks at a time. I get so pissed I literally can’t form sentences about why I am so pissed.
I’ve always felt that the Palestinians were dealt a blow of the most horrific injustice when they lost their land, but this book really sets out step by step what happened.
Every step of the way I get pissed reading this. I’m hoping that the personal stories offer some sort of internal resolution since there is no real answer anymore for the people in the area.
Read this book.
In other news, I went back to work today. The office can survive without me for 2 weeks. This is good to know. On the other hand, Anna managed to lose my electric stapler!!! ANNA!!! I still need that.
Tonight my mom and my sister too me out to sushi for an early birthday dinner (my mom is flying out to new hampshire tomorrow and won’t be in town for my b-day). I’ll write later about the evil waitress who hated me and insulted americans (she said we were messy).

Okay, Jesus, you show me you are angry with me by punishing my dog and making me spend the day cleaning horrid nastiness out of my carpet. You drained my bank account yet again. You won’t relieve the pain in my wrist.
And now you break my central air unit on the hottest day of the year???? Is this some sort of object lesson to prepare me for an eternity in hell????
I’m reduced to spending the day in my underpants chugging tamarind soda and considering a move to canada!!!
Also, why did you find it necessary to have Target stop carrying my favorite underpants??? I need new underpants for the crucial summer underpants season!!!!