My time with Dáithí has been pretty limited on this trip. He has been on assignment out of town. Last night David, Anna and I braved tornadoes and hail just to have dinner with him. I thought it might be a good idea to bring Anna along as she always seems to be in need of gentle ribbing and excess beer drinkage. Dáithí decided to bring his computer geek coworkers along for the ride. We drank many beers and ate less-than-stellar food and tried to hook Anna up with a lonely IT dude (or protect her from him….not sure what my stance was on that particular subject).
This is Anna. She didn’t kill him. I am amazed
The obligatory “i’m taking a picture of you as you take a picture of me” shot. Sadly, his camera patteries died soon after this, I was going to fill his camera with surreptitious man ass shots.
Things devolved quickly
I don’t know why, but he gets so embarassed when he talks about the Grecian Isles.
Is any night complete without a Fonzie tattoo??
All of the college kids were back in town. I’d never seen such a concentration of second rate frat boys and date rape victims in my life and THEN we passed a second rate titty bar with freaky crusty guys and lap dancers who were not aging as gracefully as they had hoped to. This is Dáithí’s impression of Minnesota and for that I am very sorry.
Today, while I was at work, he got dropped off at the Mall of America where he spent the better part of four hours cringing in in the bowels of American capitalism. David and I rescued him and offered to take him to dinner. All the regular sit-down restaurants had enormous wait times or overly meat intensive menus. We decided it was high time he ate his first peanut butter sandwich. He’s never had one, apparently his mother sent him to school with cheese and tomato sandwiches instead of pb&j. He tried to convince me this was very European but I’m beginning to think there was some shoddy parenting going on.
We went over to PB Loco for crazy peanut butter sandwiches. Your first peanut butter sandwich ever should obviously be the most upsetting sandwich ever. His had sundried tomato peanut butter, lettuce, cucumber and cheese!!! He hated it. It was awful. He scraped the peanut butter off then destroyed the sandwich completely to make it seem like he ate some. I’m convinced he does not actually eat, he just smashes his food around to give the impression of progress.
My sandwich was delicious but if I described it here you would freak. On a positive note, I took all the hippo animal crackers off all our plates and made a hippo parade. That was pretty cool.
We dropped Dáithí off at the airport. My heart was heavy knowing that this could be the last time I ever see him. Who knows what the future holds. We were not able to spend very much time together, I wish we could have timed it better so I could have had time off work, but the time we did have was delightful and fun.
Tá mo bhríste trí thine
Go raibh maith agat, Dáithí
Fraoch Ban
The possibility of a touching, heartfelt Irish poem, perhaps a song…
My pants are on fire
Thank you, Dáithí
Fair Heather (whitey)
You should keep that fire inside your pants, especially since we’re going to the state fair to see farm animals. *wink!*
We did enjoy your visit, Dáithí, and your smart, Irish ass (smart’s various adjective meanings taken into account).
Dear girl and boy,
you have brought tears to my eyes, a spring to my step and a pyramidal protuberance to my trousers.
I am indebted to you and your fine friends for the warmth of your welcome, the licks of your doggies and the sumptuous gorgeosity of your ethnic diners.
You are such lovely people!
Thanks for all the fun. Apologies to those whose sensitive dispositions were offended by our drunken tomfoolery.
You are all truly delicious and my stomach could take you upstairs and cuddle you all night. May you be plagued with happiness and beset by good fortune forever.
Le gach dea ghuí!
Dearest Anna,
I pray that this message finds you happy and healthy. The night that we met will be forever etched in my memory. You tolerated my every advance and for that you are a truly a compassionate woman. I honestly did not intend to make your night miserable. I had hoped that lavishing you with my Pepe-Le Peu affections would add some levity to your life. If the result was instead to make you unhappy, I apologize. May you have fond memories of Mankato and our night together. Love always,
-Mike
I told you he was a comic genius!
Dear Mike,
I will salt your fields and the wells of your land will be as blood. The lamentations of your benighted patch of earth shall shake the foundations of Heaven itself, as though a thousand parched throats screamed themselves ragged in supplication to the Throne itself, only to find it vacant as the very depths of the Pit.
But thanks for your onions!
Cheers, Anna
Anna, I have trained you well and I expect you at my right hand when the revolution comes. Together we can rule this earth.
Oh good, I’m glad you’re not upset. You’re more than welcome for the onions. And maybe you have a new outlook on thousand island now?
-Mike