in no particular order

in no particular order
* maddie is curled up next to me sleeping. She’s also farting. About every 3rd fart stings the back of my throat and makes my eyes water. She’s so comfortable I can’t bring myself to move her.
* as I am slouched down on the sofa here, I did not notice that my t-shirt had ridden up over my belly. Call me Cletus, because I am that classy.
* David is off teaching his guitar lesson and going to the gym (and maybe other stuff, I don’t know). I’m starving and have already decided I’m not cooking anything nice tonight, so it’s pizza or mac and cheese or something. The thing is, I know I should just go make something and eat it, but just often enough he surprises me with something for dinner. This is not to say that I want him to bring me something for dinner, it’s just that I’d be pretty disappointed if he brought me Chipotle and I’d already eaten mac and cheese.
* last night we watched “Before Night Falls”. It was on my netflix list, one of those liberal guiltie movies that you’re compelled to watch. About halfway through I realized that I didn’t have to feel guilty about not having seen it as I had seen it before and it was just as boring and incongruous then. Remember in the 90’s when we HAD to go see lesbian films, even if they were bad, because we felt like it was our duty to pump money into the industry so we could support lesbian film makers since they had it so tough and hopefully, with enough money, one of them would actually make a good movie? Well, now we have the liberal guilties, and I refuse to see Crash because of it. Sorry for the rant.
* I always feel like a philistine when I write stuff like that.
* I really despise the term “chucklehead”. I don’t know why, I just can’t stand it.
* so far the highest ranking search term to get you to my site is plain old “velvet cerebellum”. This is a comforting thought. The rest of the list if filled with vulgarities that even I can’t repeat. It amuses me to no end that so many obscene searches can get you to my site.
* frustration is not being able to operate the can opener anymore, or not being able to chop a squash in have. Frustration is not only not being able to smash garlic in the traditional manner but also not being able to manipulate the garlic press either. Frustration is realizing that your travel mug is just a bit too wide to hold comfortably. Frustration is knowing that even when you get this damned invader out of your wrist it will still take weeks and months to get close to normal.
* joy is being able to whisper to a sleeping dog and have her wag her tail in her dream. Joy is packing a lunch for someone who appreciates it. Joy is knowing that everything will work itself out in the end because that’s the way things work.

bludgeon

I’ve been reduced to trading pastries with people who know about Excel to help me with my Excel issue. I am now to the point where I want to beat my forehead against the corner of my desk until I have a beautiful corner shaped dimple.
I have instructions that say “if you want to do this…” I DO “then do this…then this…” I do “then do this and voila!” this part does not work! I get no “voila!”.
So, technically, I should be working on this now but the brick wall is thicker than my skull at the moment and I am losing.
On the other hand I have given myself a title promotion. I am now the Associate Vice President of Cool. I wonder if I can get business cards made up…I think I will submit the form.
In non-work related areas…
Made the best soup ever for dinner last night, it had squash, white beans, tomatoes, zucchini, fennel bulb, kale, raisins, rosemary and a million spices. so tasty.
David’s birthday is this weekend, if you got the invite do not forget to RSVP or I’ll shove a bowling ball up your ass when you show up. Or something.
Today I typed the phrase “cabbage shits” about 8 million times.
And, sadly, Anna is FINALLY leaving the loving family of MCAD. She’s found real employment away from campus. I’ll miss the overwhelming stench of fear and her screams for mercy. On the other hand, I take great consolation in knowing that she is working at a music box store…in the mall of america. I gave her an idea for a music box that I thought would be wildly popular. It featured Cake’s “Going the Distance”. I think it would have been a real winner.
Alright chodingos, I’m a gonna go update the outstanding purchase order list.