I am the queen of gravy making! I am king shit world heavyweight champion of gravies! No lie. You can say to me in your little whiny voice, “but my mom…” YOUR MOM LEARNED IT FROM ME!! and you can crawl around whimpering, “grandma…grandma…her gravy…so good..” and I’ll kick you in the ribs and make you apologize for your heresy once you’ve tried my gravy.
I am the interplanetary goddess of gravy and even Jesus himself could not tear the title from my grasp. Loaves and fishes indeed! Where’s the thick, unctuous sauce for your bread and fish??? It’s nowhere!!! I make the gravy around here and you better learn to like it.