“If I dig the pit myself, can i get a Tapir?” I asked, hoping against hope for a positive response.
She looked at me with disbelief and declared it to be the most bizarre thing said all week.
Prospects seem slim at this point but I will keep you posted.

Why can’t I be Herbert Kornfeld?

Spent the entire day trying to figure why a page using code that i had just copied and pasted from another page wasnt working. Spent hours of my time and Jen’s time trying to figure it out. IT WOULDN”T WORK! The variables were right, the names in the database and the form were right. WHAT WAS I DOING WRONG??!
HMMM, perhaps if you are coding a page that requires you to pull information from a database, maybe (and this is just a suggestion) you should include the code that CONNECTS YOU TO THE GODDAMMED DATABASE.

The underlying odor near my desk became a smell, then a reek, then and overwhelming stench. Back when it was an odor, I thought it was a misplaced miso soup cup that hadn’t been thrown away. As it got worse, I realized that even miso at it’s worst could not possibly smell like this. Upon further investigation, I discovered that the drinking fountain near my desk had become clogged at some point before someone tried to dump a latte in there 2 weeks before. Wanna know what a rotten latte smells like? Go kill a raccoon and a squirrel. Shove the squirrel up the raccoon’s ass and place it in 2 Hefty SteelSak garbage bags, seal well and place in the sun. After 4 weeks, go cut the bag open and breathe deeply. Don’t like the smell? Well, it isn’t anywhere near as bad as the smell that came out after they took the drinking fountain apart and started to snake out the plumbing in hopes of clearing the clog. No such luck. People tried to be helpful, one person even installed an automatic air freshener that dispensed the Tim Burton version of roses into my air (along with god only knows how many chemicals). I sat in a nasal wonderland of rotten latte, sewer gas, and Chemi-Rose. The drain isn’t fixed but the smell is waning (a little).