I have the coolest friends ever. Period. My friends kick ass and that’s the way it should be. If you don’t kick ass, rock hard or generally bring me joy, then you can’t be my friend.
And when the revolution comes, if you aren’t my friend, I’ll try to find you a position cleaning my hippo stables or something.
p.s. I think i’m gonna need a clubhouse or something for me and my special friends.
confidential to you
Let me make this clear, I’m laughing at you, not with you. I mean for fuck’s sake, man, it was SHAMPOO!!!
Still laughing.
and the lies…they continue to build
Silly Mark he called me a sensible woman.
I am many many many things, I’m sure you all have some choice titles for me. This is the first time I’ve been called a sensible woman.
I feel sort of dowdy.
Who cares?
You know how when you are leaving somewhere you kinda stop caring about things? Yeah, that’s me at work.
When you combine my winning charm with my intense apathy it makes for some interesting office politics. I pretty much respond to every request with “I don’t really care” and varying volumes and level of whine.
Also, I’ve been here in this position for 4 years and today the director of development came up to me and introduced herself to me. Um…we’ve met, I’ve been here for FOUR YEARS, we work together, we gossip at potlucks, my office is directly below hers. Still, she told me it was nice to finally meet me.
I guess it is possible for one person to care less about their job than I do. Hard to imagine.
you
You know how much I hate it when you do it, tossing your half smoked camel into the sink. This time you look me in the eye, challenging me to say something. I match your stare, I’ve nothing more to lose.
Like everything else, it’s a draw, we look away at the same time.
I light another cigarette and cross my arms, staring at nothing, taking everything in. I can feel it in you, the rage and hatred, the resentment, the tantrum-like insistence that it’s my fault.
The smoke fills the kitchen, the ghost of our regret, the ghost of what we were.
I offer you the pack, but you look away. The need gnaws at you, I could see it in your clenched fists, you need me to apologize, to shoulder the burden.
My silence breaks your will. You’re gone forever starting with the first step. One gulp, you finish your Jack, the glass shatters inches from my head. No reaction, you won’t get it from me. Just go.
With every breath after the door shuts behind you I feel your hate dissipate into the walls, disappearing.