I hate when i spill on myself when I am eating!
Barring any freak surprises I think I may actually have the kitchen completely unpacked and 95% put away. I need a new silverware holder as my other one just does not fit. I may end up rearranging things, but that’s to be expected.
I wish my weekend had highlights, but sadly the highlights are 1) unpacked 2) did laundry 3) went to coffee shop with the boy and the dog and chilled 4) unpacked 5) did laundry (it’s a small washer) 6) watched movies 7) ate a burrito bowl from chipotle (2 meals) 8) walking around the lake 9) unpacked.
Monday I close on the sale of the house. Thank god. This is the final act of severing from my ex, it is the last tendril connecting us. It’s sad in a way, or it was sad, I had hoped that when we broke up we were doing it in order to preserve the friendship. I was wrong about a great many things, and the hard part was that it took so very long for me to learn that.
And with the closing of the sale of the house comes some cash which I will immediately blow on cheap liquor and loose women. Party at my place and it won’t end ’til somebody loses a liver.
Okay, just kidding, the money is all earmarked for a number of very adult-like and responsible things. Also a couple small, cheap fun things and one very nice dinner for David and I to thank him for practically being a saint about this whole ordeal. I’m very lucky to have found him, it’s not often you get someone so kind. He’s probably too nice for the likes of me, but he hasn’t figured that out yet and I haven’t told him so you just keep your mouths SHUT.
Woo! Now for some grocery shopping and the ordeal of unpacking books and organizing them.
Stay foamy my peeps and stay away from the french fries!
velv-fu
Meh, this and that and the other thing. You’re used to this. People read this and are not so entertained. It happens.
There are monsters in this world. Not the kind under the bed, those are easily dispatched with a light and some apple juice. There are different monsters, those people who have no moral compass, people sick in their brains, people with minds of rot and disease. The hard part is to remember to be charitable, to extract them from your life while still remembering they need help. I was reminded last night that the most effective way to deal with this is to pray that they get what they need (but not necessarily what they deserve, for that would be a far different line of thinking). I am not a religious person, but I am in some way a spiritual person in that I believe in the importance of ritual as a matter of teaching and rewiring how you perceive.
I have learned to say this prayer:
“So-and-so is a sick motherfucker. Please grant me the same compassion for this person that I would grant for a sick, dying friend. May this so-and-so get everything that they need.”
Many thanks to Laura for her help in this matter. I needed to be reminded that the force you strike with recoils back at you. This is me, sitting calmly, trying hard not to strike back anymore. My reactions will now be that of inaction. I will let them find their own resolution.
I will refocus my energy on my life. On my new life which officially gets underway on Monday afternoon. On my dog and my family and David. On deciding to blaze a trail that is my own.
I will look my enemies in the eye and I will feed them french fries and they will die.
Communiqué
So today I got an email from someone I didn’t particularly want to respond to as I don’t really care for the person. The email asked me the state of an object. I really didn’t want to respond, mostly because it was entirely moot and unimportant but also because I just didn’t care. The only response I could come up with was “I fed it a french fry and it died”.
I didn’t send it. Responses like that would totally get me cemented into the ‘highly crazy’ slot in life and while this is a highly coveted spot, I prefer myself ranked in the ‘slightly less crazy’ field.
It was decided though, that “I fed it a french fry and it died” is the perfect response to almost any “what happened to X?” query.
“What happened to the remote?”
“I fed it a french fry and it died.”
“Where is the bucket I keep under the sink?”
“I fed it a french fry and it died.”
“Have you seen my first edition copy of ‘True Thai’ by Victor Sodsok, I’m sure I left it in the kitchen and now I just don’t see it.”
“I fed it a french fry and it died.”
Semi-relatedly, I’m still not answering my phone very much. It’s not you specifically that I don’t want to talk to, it’s just that I don’t want to be on my phone. Also, I am DEFINITELY not answering any ‘Private Number’ or ‘Unknown Caller’ numbers. Screw you, I don’t like surprises on my phone so unblock your number or leave a message.
Unpacking is coming along steadily. I own more bras that I never wear than almost anyone I know! I’m starting in the back of the house as that is the least overwhelming. The bathroom was super easy. Bedroom is not so bad, I have more clothes than the law allows (even after purging!) so a lot of those will be stored in the dining room closet (weird, I know, but people in the ‘good old days’ apparently never needed closet space.).
Power to the people.
mi casa es su sueño
Here they are, the pictures of my new place. First, though, let’s check out the g-dawg
So sly, so cute. That’s my dog.
Again, the outside of the house.
This is the bedroom where the sleeping and the getting dressed and the other things happen.
world’s coolest ceiling fixture ever. ever.
The view of the kitchen from the bedroom hallway. So cute. Note the laundry chute to the left. Love the laundry chute. Laundry chutes help promote tidiness. Also note the large amount of cabinet space. Cool.
This is the bathroom where the peeing and the showering and the grooming take place. The only thing it’s missing is adequate toilet paper storage. Working on that. I think IKEA has the solution. They solve all of my problems.
Massive counter space and even more cabinet space for me.
Another picture of the kitchen, I love the kitchen. Big kitchen, not the greatest layout, but good size, lots of storage and lots of electrical outlets. People forget how important these are.
From the front door you see the living room and the dining room. The house is an English Tudor so there are these great archways and race track ceilings and textured plaster walls throughout. Cute.
And these! There are 3 in the living room. Cute? CUTE!
This is my new place, this is where I am living now. Soon I will post the pictures of the massive number of boxes surrounding me now.
Ghengis ‘Mr Goofmobilious’ Jones and the very handsome Bela hanging out at Dena and Levi’s!
Well, that’s all for now. I won’t bore you with details of my trip to target or the chinese restaurant up the street that will be getting lots of my money in the future or the fact that all the angley streets over here make it difficult for me to find the best way home from Target.
Got a new microwave. my life is excitement central.
hide and seek
It’s late, i’m tired. I was browsing my stats for this sie since my traffic has jumped 3-fold in the last couple months. Anyway, I can’t stop laughing at the things people search for that send them to me. Note that ‘Sex Position’ ranks higher than the actual name of the website!
* sex position
* velvet cerebellum
* dog coughs
* whitey mcwhiterson
* analworld
* kerry strug pictures
* allintitle cerebellum
* dog cough distemper
* cerebellum pictures
* timex synch outlook
* pics of 3rd degree burned
* evolution of the cerebellum
* velvet gloves
* cerebellum is longer than usual(ha ha ha)
* windy day upskirts
* lingonberry vitamin k
* disadvantages of gigantism
* bathroom with pink tiles
* mel-o-glaze recipe
* shar-pei basset mix
* uncle milton s ant farm club
* cobra eating habits (??????)
* freshwater manatee fart
* stewie toblerone
* pee.spot
* heather
* squishing ants
* bloomington bark park
* formeldehyde dye stuff
My apologies to anyone looking for real information about their brains or cobras or manatees or anal sex.