WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

Okay, Jesus, you show me you are angry with me by punishing my dog and making me spend the day cleaning horrid nastiness out of my carpet. You drained my bank account yet again. You won’t relieve the pain in my wrist.
And now you break my central air unit on the hottest day of the year???? Is this some sort of object lesson to prepare me for an eternity in hell????
I’m reduced to spending the day in my underpants chugging tamarind soda and considering a move to canada!!!
Also, why did you find it necessary to have Target stop carrying my favorite underpants??? I need new underpants for the crucial summer underpants season!!!!

Taketh away

It seems that what the lord gives so easily, he also takes away.
Yeasterday I thanked jesusfor all my keen shopping discounts. I wanted to thank him even though I knew I deserved them because it felt like the polite thing to do.
Then this morning he decided to punish me.
Maybe he has a thing for uppity former smokers, I don’t know.
This morning Maddie started taking great big bloody shits on the carpeting. 8am I’m out of bed on a saturday cleaning up bloody shit and frantically calling the vet to beg to be let in today.
After many tears and much freaking the fuck out…she’s going to be okay. She’s got colitis and it seems she may have eaten something that upset her belly so she stopped eating and blah blah blah I don’t care. She’s going to be fine.
She’s going to be fine and she cost me all my savings.
Fuck. This is 3 times in as many months those dogs have wiped out what little reserves I can manage to put together. My insurance company is just going to have to wait a little bit before I can pay off the deductible for my surgery.
Dog are fucking expensive but they’re cheaper than putting kids through college and I know they are worth every cent i put into them.

Thanks

oh sweet, merciful Jesus, I want to thank you! I want to tell you how grateful I am that you blessed me with abnormally small feet. Today at the shoe store I found a pair of Diesel shoes that I loved so much I wanted to hump them, unfortunately, no hump is worth $90. On the other hand, in the kid’s section they were on sale for $35.
Oh, beautiful savior, I can not thank you enough.
but it doesn’t end there…you had my back all day! I was foolish enough to buy pants without trying them on and had to exchange them. Easy enough? Sure, but when you are at my side, it becomes a blessed event. The pants went on sale between yesterday and today so in the exchange they refunded the difference allowing me to buy a 3rd pair of pants for more than half off. Hell yeah!
AND AND AND!!! The 12 inch Calphalon Everyday pan normally sells for $150. Somehow, I managed to lose mine and have always wanted to replace it. Amazon got your divine message and sold the pan to me for $25.
Sweet son of god! Thank you for indulging me this week. I hate to ask you for one more favor but if you could see it in your heart to smite all self righteous former smokers who get all uppity, I’d be way appreciative.
Thanks!

Crunk Juice

The problem with having my cast off is that I can now move my wrist more than before (even though I am supposed to wear my brace to prevent that but it gets all sweaty and hot and smelly in there) and that makes it hurt way more. It hurt before but now it hurts with an aching on the inside.
The obvious answer is “wear the fucking brace you tardbake” but I never listen to the obvious answer.
My insomnia has come back full force. I think there are a number fo factors in here: sore arm, change in the weather, jesus hates me, but the biggest reason (I think at least) is that I have not been to work in over a week and I am not on vacation. I do things around the house and I go out but there’s nothing really stimulating, no problems to solve, no one to hate just for being there, it’s just movies and coffee and cigarettes and dental appointments and shopping. So there, I said it, i need to work. damn.
To help with the insomnia I took a trazadone and a vicodin last night. the traz just does not work on its own anymore and that’s just sad. Needless to say, I was way way slow moving this morning.
Marshall and I met my dad for lunch today then we shopped Mall of America. It was not exciting but I got two pairs of capris and a shirt. wooodoggy…no wonder I can’t sleep.
This evening, Mary picked me up and we went to Al Vento for dinner. Totally lovely. We started with the roasted beet salad, roasted beets, chevre, chopped pistachios, and mixed bitter greens with a fennel vinaigrette. She had the agnolotti in tomato sauce that was divine. The tomato sauce was almost buttery in its richness. I had the gnocchi with spring vegetable in a brown butter sage sauce. The vegetables were super fresh and tasty, peas, pattypan squash, tiny asparagus, tomatoes, and ferns. I had the pistachio semifreddo for dessert, wonderfully light and bursting with pistachio flavor but they did it no favors by drizzling excess amounts of chocolate sauce and powdered sugar on the plate. I think the intensity of the pistachio flavor would have been better served by allowing it to be a singularity OR by adding just a thin slice of melon to the side as a light counterpoint. Mary had the creme brulee trio, pistachio (i think it’s high pistachio season around here or something), orange lavender, chocolate espresso. She spoke highly of them. I tried the orange lavender as it piqued my curiosity. the texture was divine, lightly custardy without being watery, smooth and uncurdled. The flavor surprised me. I’m not a fan of lavender, not of its flavor or its scent. It’s too FLORAL, i just don’t care for it, but I wanted to try this and it was very good. They’d managed to capture the essence of the lavender without overpowering everything with the floral heaviness. It was almost a spring green flavor with little bright sparks of lavender and gracious undertones of citrus.
And that’s my day. I’ve been eating out too often this week and that needs to stop. I miss cooking and I have the ingredients for a number of tasty meals. Who wants to come over for indian food or pasta with fresh mozzarella, sd tomatoes, basil and asparagus?

freedom

the cast came off today!! HOORAY. Without going into gory detail, it seems that the previous surgeon fucked things up. This surgeon had to graft a nerve, re-form a tendon sheath and slaughter a lamb in order too make my hand work. Pretty cool scar though, I look like an emo-chick now!
I’m looking forward to getting back to cooking and crocheting and all those other boring domestic things that get me all hot and bothered.
Also, in ‘Insanely Boring News’!
I got a filling filled and ate mediocre mexican food and….nothing…
Sorry, need a nap