I am home.
The temperature is actually higher here than in New Orleans but I would bet 8.5 million dollars that it FEELS cooler here, that it is more comfortable here than there.
Not that I can get comfortable with this sunburn.
Okay, so where did I leave off?
Saturday
Saturday was one of those days where we did very little and cared very little. It was a day of decompression. The highlights of the day included bug-hunting for the anoles, discovering that the “Mochasippi” blended frozen coffee drink at CC’s has only 90 calories which is like 8 billion fewer calories than the frappuccino! Adding sugar free hazelnut syrup added like 10 calories to the mix. It seems a little odd that after a week of scarfing down gumbo, sausages, ribs, jambalaya, beignets and god knows what else, I’d be concerned about the calories in my coffee drink. I’m a bubbo and it’s my prerogative to not make sense and to care very little about that.
So, David and his dad hammered out a plan for David and I to take the boat out on Sunday. The motor had just been repaired and needed to be installed. Sunday came around…
Sunday
Smithers was right, women and seamen don’t mix! Seems I’m bad luck on the sailboat. As they were lowering the motor into place one of the handles snapped off and the whole thing fell into the marina. Saltwater is immediate death to all those little engine parts and they debated if they even wanted to retrieve it. My silent vote was for “no”. That water in the marina was stagnant and filthy and the last thing I wanted was for David to go into that foul stew of disease.
But of course he volunteered to go in and dive for the motor. Luckily, the marina is not all that deep. Unluckily, as he was climbing down the ladder the little notched supports snapped and the whole ladder fell off the boat and he fell into the water. I was very proud at how I did not freak out or scream!
They got the motor up and cleaned and back into the van to go get repaired so our plans to sail were scratched.
Instead, David’s dad took us out for Mexican food and sangria.
David’s dad is faculty at The Gulf Coast Research Lab (you can see him here) and as such he has access to the faculty apartments that they keep open for faculty that live out of town (which he does). He invited us to stay the night, but I declined. I didn’t really have a change of clothes with me for the next day as we were going to be sailing and no one cares what you look like on a sailboat, especially of the other person is your boyfriend. David and I had to run back to the sailboat to get some things for our Monday plans and he called again to offer the apartment. This time, there was some confusion and we were under the impression that we would have our own apartment to ourselves and I agreed thinking “hell yeah, a night without parental supervision!”.
Yeah, miscommunication, bummer. We shared the place with his dad but luckily he let david and I have the big bed and he took the smaller one.
Monday
We got up bright and early and had college center cafeteria breakfast and David and I headed out to Gulfport to catch the ferry out to West Ship Island. It was amazing. I wish I could describe everything in detail. A thunderstorm rolled in and chased everyone out of the water and into shelter except for David and I. We were adventurous or stupid? Only history answers these questions.
I fell in love with snorkeling once I got the hang of it, but we lost both snorkels in short order (they don’t float…why wouldn’t you make a snorkel that floated?). There was a great big crab in the water being pushed around by the waves and he kept threatening the current with his big claws. I saw a jellyfish a little smaller than my fist, David saw one bigger than that. The hermit crabs were plentiful under our feet and we picked them up and said “hi” as often as possible. I learned the hard way that nematocysts break off jellyfish all the time and will still sting you so occasionally you will be happily swimming along and you will get a singular jellyfish sting from a stinger no longer on a jellyfish. I found this out 5 or 6 times. I also found out that these things are so tiny they can easily get in your bathing suit.
The whole time we were swimming and playing in the water a sheepshead fish named Walter hung out by us. Anytime we went under he was there swimming not more than a few inches away. I’m pretty sure he hung out with us because we would stir things up from the bottom.
The coolest thing I saw was a porpoise that jumped out of the water not more than 36 inches from me. It was so cool and so fast I just could not react.
When we were alone in the water David took me, floated me on my back and swam me all over the place. It was so perfectly peaceful to have his arms around me as we floated over the waves and watched the storm roll over us. Very truly, I did not want that moment to ever end.
But end it did. We walked down the shore for a while and dug up the clams with our toes and watched them burrow back under the sand. If you dig the clams up and then keep your feet in the wet sand under them, they will burrow between your toes.
He took off exploring while I played in the surf and came running back with a giant horseshoe crab shell.
So sweet that way.
After the ferry ride back we met his dad at the sailboat with the newly washed and repaired motor which they installed with no problem. I sat on the dock and cooked an MRE using the special water activated heating bag.
And marvelled at how sunburned we’d gotten.
Tuesday
I cried in the car. I didn’t want to leave David again.
But I cheered up once I got my Mochasippi and we met Holly Peach for brunch at Stanley’s (the casual version of Stella! located around the block, same chef/owner). The food was excellent as was most of the stuff I’d eaten on this trip.
New Orleans is a place of magic, truly, the proof of which is the magic that brought me tgether with Holly Peach. How the hell else do you explain suddenly becoming fast friends with a person you met out of coincidence? Magic. The magic of new orleans is the yin to the gutter filth yang, it is the balance. It is what makes the city different from atlanta or houston which have the filth but not the magic.
Then I flew home. The trip was mostly uneventful. There was a hang up in atlanta and my flight was delayed but I was not so worried, these things happen. My dad and Kit bought me dinner and I blabbed on about fish and lizards and gumbo and sunburn and all that. and they listened patiently because they are good that way.
And the dogs missed me., and I missed them, and I missed my home and I am glad.

It’s a grey morning and I am sunburnt as hell. It hurts to move.
But the time has come to say goodbye to this city I’ve always loved. Goodbye wild anoles, funny smells and the most ungodly bad for you but so so delicious food ever.
When I get home I will write about my experiences with the sailboat, snorkeling in the gulf with porpoises, and whatever else I can think of.
Also, I’ll probably write about how much I miss David since he’s staying for a little while longer.
ah well, time to stop being maudlin and start trying to force a bra on over my sunburn. ow.
ps: Owen, the ocean did something nasty to my hair color….HELP
pps: pictures updated. go look at bugs and crabs and baby lizards

The thing about the bayou is that there are bugs. Really large bugs. Really big, extremely populous bugs. They’re everywhere and they’re loud as hell. Of course, they are what keep the anoles and tree frogs and geckos fed, so I don’t mind.
Okay, I know I need to catch up on highlights since you’ve gone and assumed I’m dead….
Tuesday
David took me for a sunset ride to the estuary marsh. Past the rigolets we discovered the egret sleeping place. It’s an island covered in giant white birds going “grawk…grawk….graaaawk…GRAWK…grawkgrawkgrawkgraaaaawk …GRAAAAAAAWK”. Sadly, it was just a little too dark for the photo to turn out. The ride was peaceful and romantic and sighworthy.
After our ride we met up with Marshall and I got to see the cool claymation movies he and David made when they were in high school. After that we fed moths to the venus fly trap.
Wednesday
The chillitude of Tuesday was completely counteracted by the busy-ness of Wednesday. First off, we had to get up butt early after getting to bed ass late. We had to get up super early to make the long trek out to the Global Wildlife center so we could catch the 9am tour which would allow us to be out amongst the animals before the heat got too overwhelming AND get us back to town by 12:30 to have lunch with David’s mom and a family friend. It required a lot of hustling and bustling and coffee.
The Global Wildlife center rocked so hard I feel like I got rocked twice and then slapped on my bare butt! The pictures are posted to the right. You get on the tram and you get your cups of pelletized feed and you’re off. The place is mostly full of hoofed animals and flightless birds, they all know the tram and they do Pavlov proud by immediately running up to it, begging for food. Most of them you feed from your cup to avoid getting bitten (they don’t mean to bite, but you now) but the camels, llamas and giraffes you can feed from your hand. Sadly, the giraffes were playing shy and wouldn’t come near us, but everything else showed up as expected. It was so much fun to see all the animals getting all goofy for food, and I’m pretty sure that most of the world could live on pelletized food. If you go, and I SUPER RECOMMEND that you go, make sure you buy more than one cup of food. David and I got 3 cups to share between us and we found we had to conserve at the end. The family groups on the tour bought buckets of it, if I brought my kids (If I had kids) I’d go with the bucket.
After the GWC we headed back to Slidell and I had my first real battle with the heat. I spent about 20 minutes seriously considering vomiting everywhere! But then we got to the restaurant and chilled and drank lots of iced tea and things got better.
Marshall called and wanted to know if we wanted to meet him and Holly Peach and Ben and Stephanie for a movie. Ahoy, of course I did, I love popcorn! As we were driving into New Orleans we got caught in the most massive storm I’d ever seen outside of Texas. The city was completely obliterated and visibility was probaby measured in negative feet. It was so strange and a little scary. Luckily we parked in the ramp connected to the theatre so we didn’t have to walk in it.
We saw “A Scanner Darkly” and I really liked it. I was apathetic at first, I’m fairly apathetic about Linklater and I’m opposed to gimicky shit in movies for the most part. Gimmicky shit doesn’t ruin the movie, it is just a great big giant signal to me that all the effort went into the gimmick and not a bit of it went into plot or script or anything like that. I was pleasantly surprised, they did a great job with the film, the script was interesting and the plot moved along. A tad predictable but thoroughly enjoyable.
Afterwards the six of us headed over to Zots to chill play scrabble, chain smoke and talk about the mexican health care system and my plan to get a “yield” traffic sign tattoed above my ass.
And it should be mentioned that the delightful Holly Peach brought me candy! Sweet sweet candy! Pez dispensers, candy bracelets and “Tool Pops: the lollipop play tool”! Could I love her any more? probably not.
Thursday
We spent the day on Thrusday hunting baby anoles after David set up their special home with live plants and a liner and all that. We caught two babies, super cute and super tiny and we’re feeding them little moths and bugs and hoping things go well.
We took David’s mom out to the brew pub in Abita Springs where Abita beer is made. The food was most excellent, though I regretted my bbq ribs after I saw David’s stuffed eggplant.
We stopped by and chatted with Marshall for a bit, while we were standing outside a very giant beetle flew around and landed on my ass. I very calmly announced “it landed on my ass…get it off my ass”
David and I stayed out late driving around again. He’s very romantic
Friday
David took me to the aquarium today. It’s my third trip there and it’s still exciting. I love the fish. On the way there we stopped to get po boy sandwiches. Now, here’s the problem with the po boy, they usually come in 5 or 10 inch sizes, at most places you want to get a 10 inch po boy, it makes a good, filling sandwich, but every once in a while you order a 10 in from a place that packs in more fried shrimp than the law allows. that was my sandwich today, a 10 inch french roll, stuffed to bursting with 47 pounds of breaded, fried shrimp. It was delicious, but I could barely eat half. David’s 10 inch oyster po boy was just as huge, so huge in fact that he was unable to finish mine and he always finishes my food for me.
The aquarium was up and running again, there were a few missing exhibits and the jellyfish section was missing the larger jellies from before, but all in all, I was happy to see them back in business. Also, the gigantic white alligator actually moved! The last two times I was there he was so immobile that I was convinced he was dead and stuffed, you never even saw him breathing. Today, not only were his eyes blinking but he actually got up and walked around! The damned thing got up and walked around his area.
Afterward we headed over to the Villa Convento and hung out with Holly Peach and Oyster the Official Dog of the Villa Convento. The thing I love about the south is that you can bring your dogs everywhere with you. if it weren’t for the overwhelming heat and humidity and gigantic bugs and hurricanes, i’d want to live here.
Holly Peach recommended that we check out the Hookah cafe, a full on hooka bar, for dinner. as we walked over there we met a man with two fatty shar peis and we talked dogs! His dogs were so so so cute and fat.
The Hookah Cafe had excellent food, mostly tapas to share and a wide range of flavored tobaccos and hooka pipes. We did not partake in the hookah pipes, but we did enjoy the food, except for the dessert, their idea of a crepe was compacted sawdust and the twisted souls of inquisition underlings. A crepe should be a light, eggy, springy experience, it should never be tough to cut, thick, dense or otherwise overly chewy. Oh well, the fried chevre dumplings more than made up for it.
We wandered through the french quarter and stopped at cafe du monde for au laits and beignets.
It was one of those days where you stop and evaluate things. I’m so lucky to have David, he’s sweet and kind and he has worked so hard to make sure I get to do and see all the things I want on this trip. I am so very glad I came down here to see him.

My days have been spent hunting anoles, geckos and frogs. That would explain why all the pictures I have are of anoles, geckos, frogs and the likes. Sorry.
Yesterday, however, in the midst of all my nature hunting and documenting, I saw a big blue dragonfly capture a big green dragonfly in mid air, wrestle it to the ground and then commence to chew it apart while it struggles. This resulted in me on my hands and knees with my face inches from the ground. Most people come down here for the liquor and crawfish, I come down for the insectual cannibalism.
Last night, we went into town with Marshall. We had dinner at Coop’s Place, a little dive in the French Quarter. It was just a little bar but the food was phenomenol. One thing after another I ate and was stunned, seafood gumbo, rabbit and sausage jumbalaya, shrimp creole, red beans and rice and fried chicken. Amazing. My body, however, is screaming out for green veggies! The last green veggie I ate was iceberg lettuce in the Atlanta airport! There’s half a head of kale in the fridge…
Anyway, Holly came to visit us at Coop’s. ‘Just for 5 minutes’ she says, oh yeah just five minutes. She spent almost 7 hours with use. 5 minutes my ass. But I was thrilled to meet and spend the evening with Holly, she’s a peach, a plum, a pear and a gingersnap all rolled up together. We ate and drank and laughed and closed down the bar. They even played Semisonic’s ‘Closing Time’ which made me a tad homesick.
We left the bar and headed over to the hotel that Holly’s family owns. I am a retard and I forgot the name of it (it’s kitty corner from the Ursulines Convent) and I forgot to take photos! I think my favorite moment was walking out onto a 4th floor balcony and looking out over the rooftops of the French Quarter. It was so beautiful and peaceful.
Eventually we said our goodnights and drove back to Slidell, making it into bed sometime before sunrise!
I’m posting more pictures but they’re all of lizards and frogs and dogs.
Better pictures soon!

a quick rundown so far

• Gettin up at to the airport at ass o clock in the morning
• The priciest amricano and the shittiest salad ever at the atlanta airport during my layover
• Airtran is not so concerned about time. They leave when they want, they arrive when they want and they tend to list arbitrary lengths of time for their flights.
• My 3 favorite people at the Atlanta airport: 1) the japanese tourist in the “Kiss me, I grill” t-shirt, 2) the woman who demolished 4 (FOUR!!) bloody marys in the time it took me to eat my salad. She had been there since before I arrived and did not leave the bar until our flight got called, so who knows how many she actually drank! 3) the little girl in the stall next to me with her mom. As she was getting ready to pee her mom asker her where her underpants went, the girl replied “I lost them” the mom pointed out that she had given her new underpants to put on that morning and the girl reiterated “I LOST THEM, MOM!”.
• Really really really happy to see David!
• Tasty italian food
• Missed David in the worst way, so glad to see him
• Red beans and rice!
• Geckos, tree frogs, anolis which are way cool
• The chico frogs (named by me) which go “chico chico chico Chico CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO!” all together but not in any sort of rhythm.
• Went to Marshall’s house and saw the geckos and the dogs. Marshall’s dogs are super super cute! I’m totally going to steal them from him.
• It is so so so hot here, pretty sure I’m going to die.

Pictures soon!