Maybe it’s not Facebook’s fault, maybe it just feeds my already inherent laziness. I don’t know. I’d like to put all of the blame on Facebook, seems like the easiest thing to do.
There are a couple dozen good reasons why I haven’t been updating my blog. Some of them are sort of boring like, “I’m not really doing anything interesting enough to write about” or “the combination of my depression and the specific meds that I am on make it really hard for me to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes at a time” or “I can’t write about depression on every post because that would be tedious and boring”.
But then there’s Facebook. Facebook, which takes inanity to a whole new level. Used to be that I would get an interesting thought or idea and I would tease it out and write a few paragraphs about it. It took some time, usually something would simmer in my head for a few hours and once I’d worked out a theme and structure, maybe looked up a few things, I could sit down and write it out. Not anymore. Now when I get a thought or idea I don’t have to think about it, I just pare it down to about 400 characters and barf it into a little box on my screen. No need to think about it, no need to work it out, just peel the plastic back and pop it into the microwave for 3 minutes.
What have I done this summer? I went to Louisiana, that should have been a number of posts. There was a lot to say about the trip. I could write about the heat, the alligator, and the aquarium. In my head I’d worked out a post abut how hard it is to be in ‘vacation’ and not have a reliable source of personal transportation. That was actually a big deal because it was hard to make plans or go out and do things without either a car or public transportation. I had a lot to say about dependence and expectations and how things change. Instead of writing it all out I just threw a few blobs on to my Facebook account and was done.
On our way back from Louisiana David and I were able to stay with some Pantsters and got to meet so many wonderful people. We also drove a car from Louisiana to Minnesota without a single bit of identifying info (no license plates, no temp plates, no little yellow piece of paper in the back window. nothing) and we were not pulled over once, much to my surprise (I had assumed we’d be pulled over in every podunk burg with a budget crisis and an overeager police force).
What else? I got 4 stitches in my face. There was a lot to say about that, like why I had 4 stitches on my face (if you adopt a dog that is high strung and has problems you should probably not startle him when he is sleeping), or how things went in the emergency room, or how hard it is to eat when you have stitches on your face. Also, there was much to say about my insurance situation and how that affected my trip to the emergency room.
Instead, I threw a picture up on Flickr. Easy.
Then there was the little nephew born yesterday. David’s sister had a baby and the summer was filled with anticipation and excitement. I am, of course, crocheting many baby things and I could be here writing about them or writing about the excitement of a new baby or anything like that.
I hit my one year in therapy mark this month. That in itself should be cause for many opinions and much reflection. You’d think I would have a lot to say about it, many opinions to share. I do! I really do, but I never get around to it. Truly, it is hard to concentrate on longer, more serious posts, but damn! Something could be written! Something should be written simply because I made a commitment to share my experiences with depression so that those that suffer in silence don’t feel so alone and also so that people who do not have experience with it might have a better understanding of it.
Right now my hair is bright orange! Over the summer it was 2 different shades of pink. I tried out a new brand of hair colors and I love them.
I mean that’s pretty interesting, right? At least in my life it is.
I’ve worked out a couple new recipes and I’m working on the perfect peanut butter cookie recipe. I should have written those down and posted them. But it’s much easier to just type, “peanut butter cookies FTW! Woot” and leave it at that.
And of course, there’s this:
Seriously, what the hell?
I promise to do a better job writing here…I hope.
Okay, I loved the pink hair, but the orange is awesome, too.
Miss you (and other people with brains who have left) on rfc.
Ditto Serene! I think I prefer the bright pink, but the orange really makes me notice your beautiful grey eyes. And the green glasses? Cool.
Chester writes a great column, both here and on Rav, but I’ve missed you. I sure understand about depression related inability to muster a coherent thought, so NO GUILT!
On the other hand, I have decided to ditch my purple hair and just shave it all off. I went purple for the same reason you went pink: it makes me laugh when I look in the mirror. But the Instead-of-Chemo med, (i.e. instead of 6 mos. of unpleasantness, I get 5 years of mild chemo-like side effects. oh joy.) has given me alopecia universalis, which makes me cry when I look in the mirror. Not doing my chronic existential depression any good. It’s starting to get cold here in Maine, so until I get some hats knitted, I’ve found some lovely fabrics (on sale!) and will get Zamzam to show me how to wrap hijab. Maybe I’ll at least be able to muster a chuckle.
I so love your rambles in the English countryside of Blog. I identify with you in the desire to blame facebook for writing not happening as much as I like. And now I can identify with you in hair color (sort of) as well. Welcome to orange hair!
Looking forward to reading more of your LONG notes. I miss a lot of the shorter ones as I don’t have Internet at home right now.
Missed you!! I really like the contrast between the blue stitches pic and the bright orange hair–both in color and emotional content. I like how you wrote about how you used to write–the teasing the thought out for a while and then writing a couple of paragraphs. Facebook is a great way to keep track of my 17 year-old, and reunite with some old friends, but a lot of the time it is a big waste of valuable life-time. Looking forward to more postings.
I know just how you feel! I’ve had several blogs over the past 12 or 13 years, and in the last few I’ve been just wrung out by life and have pretty much no creativity left in me to really write anything.
I can’t really blame facebook, though, and the reason is that I hate it and I didn’t start using it until this last year or two, but my problem started before that. I sit and look at my text editor… and look at it, and look at it. And nothing. I can’t even think of a way to begin.
I have a new stepdad, I have a new dog like you do (rowdy white German shepherd named Lily), I’ve moved twice, I’ve gained and then lost a surrogate brother, and so on. I have all these things to write about and nothing left in me to get them out in any sort of a creative way. I used to be so good at that. :/
I love your hair! Is that Flamingo? I love Fudge, one of the prettier colors I think. Their whole line isn’t so great (not a fan of their creme rinse).
I know just how you feel! I’ve had several blogs over the past 12 or 13 years, and in the last few I’ve been just wrung out by life and have pretty much no creativity left in me to really write anything.
I can’t really blame facebook, though, and the reason is that I hate it and I didn’t start using it until this last year or two, but my problem started before that. I sit and look at my text editor… and look at it, and look at it. And nothing. I can’t even think of a way to begin.
I have a new stepdad, I have a new dog like you do (rowdy white German shepherd named Lily), I’ve moved twice, I’ve gained and then lost a surrogate brother, and so on. I have all these things to write about and nothing left in me to get them out in any sort of a creative way. I used to be so good at that. :/
I love your hair! Is that Flamingo? I love Fudge, one of the prettier colors I think. Their whole line isn’t so great (not a fan of their creme rinse).
I blame facebook. You know that I had a son, right? Well so I decided it would be expedient to post pics of him there so I didn’t have to email the world every other day. The day I got on my friend Dale, who had heretofore admonished me for my lack of facebook presence, posted a note to me. It said: “Welcome to Facecrack.” Ha!
I blame facebook. So I get all on this thing and it’s really cool and everyone I’ve ever met has been on there for like a century waiting for my slow rear to show sometime this millennium. And what do I find. Disillusion. Why? Because it is all about me, me me. “I’m at work having a bad day.” “I love oranges, just wanted you all to know.” “I am in the middle of the shit of my life on the toilet, omg.” I thought twitter was for that crap.
I blame facebook. You can go ahead and write fifteen well thought-out paragraphs. And I know people who do. No one will read them.
So I started a joke that got the whole world crying. It’s Elliot’s Blog, LELLY-LIT. I thank you, auntie Bubbo pants. You bring meaning to my life, you’re my inspiration!
WTF are you on facebook?
can I be your friend?