Oh my god! HIHIHIhihihHIHI hi hi!
I cannot even believe how many long times it has been since I did the thing that is tell you something. Be careful because now is a regular time for me to tell you things and I have to tell you things with so many crazinesses that it might make even more problems in your head!
You should believe this.
Because I am telling you this.
The first thing that happened did it a long time weeks ago. One day, the man and the lady started taking our stuff and hiding it in boxes because I think they had a fear of robbers, except they left the boxes out where a robber could find them! How smart is that? That is zero smartnesses, even the man on the tv with the neck has more smartnesses than that and he doesn’t even know a thing about stuff. THEN!! Then one day people came over to rob our house and the man and the lady HELPED THEM!! They stole all of our stuff out of the house and the lady and the man were okay with this thing! They even carried the things out. I tried to stop them!! I yelled, “BARK BARK BARK!!! Get out of my house!!! GO AWAY OUT!!!”
This isn’t even all of the crazinesses!
They stole all of my toys and bones.
They stole them, the people stole my toys and bones and the lady and the man helped them.
This isn’t even all the craziness!
Maddie and the lady and me (Chester) all do the thing that is go to the dog park!! Finally the lady does a thing that is not wear her butt backwards.
But another craziness happens!
We go and go and go for more times than it takes to get to the dog park. And when we finally get to a place it is NOT THE DOG PARK! I could not even believe a thing that is that the lady had become a tipped over wiener stick.
The craziest thing is that the lady did this on 3 of the days in a row!!! Can you even believe this is a thing. Believe it. It is a real thing.
But none of that is a thing at all that matters!! NO!!
You listen to me and I will tell you a thing more amazing than doing tummy rubs with a peanut butter biscuit and then another thing that is so horrible it will make you do backwards poohibbities for almost an entire hour!!
Yesterday was a day that had okayness and we liked it and the man and the lady took us to a place with trees and a path and I wore my special back pack and there was so much runrunrunrun and climb and runrun and there were so many goodsmells!! SO MUCH GOOD SMELL and OH MY GOD!! It was so much of all the goodnesses!
And then… THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME EVER IN MY LIFE!!!!
You are the person reading this and you can’t even know how much Chester is in this.
I found a smell. I FOUND A SMELL! The smell was so good. All of the other smells I have ever found in my life can not even be added together to make this smell. It was the best smell ever!! And it wasn’t even just a smell! It was a thing that made so much smell!!
And do you want to know a thing that is what I did? I got on that smell and I rolled and rolled and rolled!! I could not even do the thing that is know that I was on the earth because the only thing I could ever know was putting this smell all over me.
And do you want to know the BEST PART EVER??? The smell was a poohibbity!! I did the thing that was like naked pig splits but with a POOHIBBITY!!! CAN YOU EVEN KNOW THIS???
I had so many many many thick smells all over my neck and face and I had almost 8 units of happinesses in me. YOU CAN NOT EVEN KNOW!! This was one poohibbity that the man DIDN’T pick up!
But a thing that happens is that no matter how many happinesses I have, there will always be the man and the lady to ruin it all for me.
Remember how I did the thing that was tell you that a thing happened that was so bad that you would do backwards poohibbities?
Hide your littles before you read this!
When I got home the man WASHED THE SMELL OFF OF ME!!
Even I can not believe this. The greatest thing ever that can happen to this little dog was COMPLETELY made to be ruined. Now the only smell that I have is the lady’s stupid shampoo.
This is a thing that happened. Other things happened but nothing of the things are a thing to talk about. In one day I did the best things ever and then the wrongest thing ever.