HI! My name is Chester
I have to poop. OH MY GOD! I have to poop! I have to poop for the third time today. I have to poop. My name is Chester
oh my god. I have to poop! What should I do?? what what what? What do i do when I have to poop??
There’s the fat lady! Jump on the fat lady! OH MY GOD!!! she wheezes when you jump on her. I have to poop and she is wheezing and I am jumping! AN EAR!!!!! tongue in the ear tongue in the ear tongue in the ear.
She screamed! Oh my god I have to poop and she is wheezing and screaming! TONGUE IN THE EAR!!
SHE SAID SOME NAUGHTIES!!!! my ears my ears I have to poop. Why doesn’t she do something??? I will jump on the hippohead. I will bite the hippohead! I have to poop and the hippohead is biting me and the fat lady is making swears and coughing! I HAVE TO POOP!!!
oh good! the fat lady is hauling her ass! this is good. I have to poop! OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING OUTSIDE!!! My leash my leash my leash LEASH LEASH LEASH. BITE THE HIPPO HEAD
AND SIT. I can sit, I know how to sit. I am sitting. I have to poop.
OH MY GOD! We’re at the second door! SIT! I am sitting because I know how but the hippohead won’t sit! Stupid hippohead. I will bite the hippohead. I sit again and wait. I have to poop.
OUTSIDE!!! Is that someone across the street? Who is that? WHO ARE YOU?? WHO ARE YOU?? Stay away from here!! This is my yard!!! HEY! YOU! I’m talking to…oh right, the fat lady tells me to hurry. Hurry? Hurry?
I have to poop! Where should I poop? The ground! Where? the ground! Okay. Nose! I have a nose! I will find the place! HEY! WHO ARE YOU?? get away from my house! Oh yeah, I have to poop!
Sniff sniff sniff sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffff this smells like rabbit! POOP! I have to poop. Where is the spot? I can’t find the spot. Is that a leaf or is that something walking towards me? I think it’s a leaf. Does the leaf poop? Oh right. poop.
Fat lady is talking to me. She is dumb. She poops in the same place every day. Lazy. She doesn’t find the spot.
Maybe it’s on the other side of the sidewalk? maybe? okay, I will go there! Oh my god I have to poop! I really have to poop! I can’t find the spot. Where is the hippohead? oh, over there.
Maybe I missed the spot back over there? I should sniff there again. I think I smell bacon. Do I smell bacon? what’s going on? OH! I’m outside! AWESOME! I should run around! Why am I not running around? OH RIGHT! I have to poop and I can’t find the spot.
OH NO OH NO! It wants to come out and I can’t find the spot. SCRUUUUUUUUUNCH!!! shuffle shuffle no no no no
HERE!!! Yeah, I found it and I am putting my poo…hey, was that a dog in the car that just drove by?
Oh my god! There’s fresh poop behind me! Who the hell did that?? Oh, it’s mine. Smells like mine.
wait…what? oh, pee! I have too pee. Let’s see, I can’t pee on my poop…I can’t pee near my poop….um…..oh god that feels so good!
OMG, you summed it up perfectly. We just adopted a greyhound and I’m amazed at how he is when he needs to go out. His teeth chatter he’s so excited. And, because he’s a social butterfly he thinks that everyone outside wants to meet him and tell him what a pretty boy he is. :)
OMG, please warn a bronchitis riddled person first. That had me laughing so hard I think I coughed up a lung. UCK.
You have no idea how much this made my night. And yes, you’re right. I don’t get out much.