aaaah the retarded bathroom escapades! where would we be without them. let’s get on with today’s story, shall we…
As with most bathroom escapades, this one started with me having to pee REALLY BAD!!! I did the quick lock-kneed, clenched butt walk down the hall to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom I had to start the pee dance.
Today’s pee dance required me to lean on my right foot, kick my left leg around and sort of hop while I fumbled frantically with the front of my pants. I tried to gracefully add a hip twist to the dance feeling that the hip twist might help with the pants fumbling.
It didn’t help, but it did cause me to fall down and hit my head on the stall wall leaving it a bit bruised. I am waiting to hear back about worker’s comp!
I fell down in the bathroom because I had to pee.
Monthly Archives: December 2007
where is your ass
your ass is right here.
Sometimes when I am driving I need to turn the radio up very loud or I start thinking about my fellow commuters. point. Today I was behind a large red pick up truck. The driver was a mid-20’s Caucasian male of medium build. The fun started when he pulled in front of me, that’s when I noticed his hat.
His hat was a black baseball cap turned backwards. The ‘logo’ was a large gold sparkly dollar sign ($) with large gold sparkly wreaths on either side. There was sparkly gold piping wherever there were seams. I contemplated for a long time what kind of person would purchase this hat. What are the specific circumstances in this dude’s life that led him to pick up this hat and think “this hat mirrors my value system. This hat reflects the parts of my personality that I want the public to focus on.”?
I imagine he did not think that exact phrase, but perhaps summed it up in a succinct, “Awesome!”
Speaking of awesome, we bought 160 pounds of dog food this weekend. I imagine you are wondering where one buys 160 pounds of dog food! The same place you can get your fishing licenses and giant overalls! I also bought a pig femur, pig ears and pig ankles! The dogs get a lot of pig!
You might think that 160 pounds of dog food would be the highlight of a girl’s weekend, but you’d be wrong. First off, David being mr awesomely awesomepants drove way out of the way in a snowstorm so I could get a gingerbread latte. I’m not proud, I love the Starbuck’s gingerbread latte! Then, after purchasing all that dog food (and jeans and yarn drawers and socks) we went to Nala Pak for dinner.
Now, I love me some Nala Pak (formerly Udupi), I love to go there and eat until I perforate something internal. The food is so good you could weep. The only issue I have with them, and this is such a strange issue, is their soup. Their tomato soup is described “Tomato broth which is slightly spiced to
attain exotic flavors.”. What they mean to say is “Straight up Campbell’s tomato soup with a lot of black pepper and some really cheap croûtons.” It’s so amazingly peculiar. All the other food is so amazing and they start you off with something that should be served with a grilled cheese sandwich.
Aaah, but who am I to complain? They make their mango lassis with fresh mango, the tamarind chutney is thick, sweet, sour, and spicy, and their batura make me woogly with delight.
Now I must go work on more crochet projects. Woo christmas!