You know what I hate about growing up? I hate hate hate that by the time you are 30 and you have already been in a relationship for 9 years, a wedding (even if not legally recognized in your state because you both manage to pee sitting down) becomes too impractical. Jesus Christ I did everything right, I did what I was supposed when I was younger. I worked extra and paid off the credit card debt, and saved like mad, and watched the tight budget, and ended up buying the house. I was all responsible and practical. It got me my house, which I love. It got me a fucking kitchen remodel. Yeah, let’s hear it for the 9 year old girl dreaming of Formica samples and light fixtures.
That’s my rant, I’m pissed that I wasted all that potential fun time for the reward of spending my Saturdays filling tiny holes in the cabinets and going into panic attack mode when I think of all the things that can go wrong when painting. Don’t get me wrong, I love my house and I will love the kitchen when it’s done, It’s just hard to reconcile the trade sometimes. Also, let’s not forget, I did do my fair share of immoral, dirty, wake up face down in pain partying. And really, if someone were to offer me a wedding right now, I’d have to refuse since I am, in fact, too practical to actually do it. And, folks, that is what I hate about growing up.

Don’t try to fight it or ignore it, there are fundamental differences between men and women. This difference was illustrated to me today while using wood putty to fill in the holes in my kitchen cabinet doors.
Men will use a putty knife to apply the putty to the holes. Women will use an offset cake decorating spatula. It’s important to use the tool that you are most comfortable with and a $6.00 Wilton Brand Offset Spatula with wood grip is the tool for me.
Also, I think most men (or just people smarter than me) would take a small amount of putty and put it on a tray of sorts and safely cover the rest to keep it from drying out. I’m using straight from the container and as parts of it get dry and crusty I just scoop them out and throw them away. Mmmmm economical.

I need one week, just one week, with no personal responsibilty. It would completely blanket the world and we would be able to do what we wanted without consequence.
There are a million people and things that I want to do and I am tired of taking the high road in these situations. Just one week, that’s all I’m asking.
I’m not even positive that a week is long enough, but I’m willing to give it a go. Who’s with me on this one?