Category Archives: Doogles

hi HI hhihihihiii!

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Hi hi HI HI HI!!! hi!
Hi! HI! My name is Chester. I am CHESTER! I am the dog that lives with the lady and the man and the doofus Maddie! That is me! and I am doing the thing that is telling you about the thing that is….

The lady. OH MY GOD!!! Okay, you know the lady? She is the lady that does the things that are take you to the dog park and also put cuddles on you and put your warmiecoat on you! Right? You know this lady? YOU KNOW HER!! I know you know her because my name is Chester and the thing that I know is all of the stuff! Right! YEAH!!!
So the lady did the thing that was dye the yarn and spin the yarn and say the thing that was “Chester! Get the hell away from the wool or I will put you in a box and mail you up someone’s butt!”
SHE DID THOSE THINGS!!! And now the thing that she is doing is she is selling the yarn to the peoples that are not her or the man (the man! he does not do things with yarn! he does things that are running with Chester and eating a burrito!!!). So
SO
OH MY GOD! Okay so my name is Chester and the thing that I get to do is tell you that there is yarn and that if you want a yarn you can buy the yarn and if I tell you this then I can have the thing that is the peanut butter biscuit!! Right!!
YEAH
Chester

quicklike

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1. my laptop did NOT DIE!!! It was the airport card. Awesome? YEAH! I’m tethered to an ethernet cable until I get a new card, but that’s fine. My laptop lives! Despite all the abuses, it lives!
2. made it to and from Thanksgiving in Missouri despite route confusion, bad weather and getting pulled over 4 times in one night. State trooper #4 totally apologized to us! Funny!
3. Dramamine was sent from the moon as a gift to me to use on Chester. Unfortunately, that dog is like a fucking reverse alligator! He’s not letting you stick anything in his mouth and he will clamp those teeth down and not open them. What the fuck, Chester?
4. I slept a lot today.
5. Maddie lost a lot of weight on this trip. She does not do well with stress. We’ll get the pounds back on her.
happy happy y’all
I’m going back to bed.

the things that I do when I am not thinking of you

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let’s look at some photos, shall we…


I made a fort in the living room last week. Maddie wanted to make sure everything was okay! Please note the absolute adoration in her eyes. She adores me despite the gigantic zit on my chin.


One good face snuffle to make sure I am okay and then…


She goes on guard duty!


hee hee hee piggotail!


I kept trying and trying to find a way to dye my roving in this splotchy manner without having to lay it out and squirt the dye on it. I wanted a quick and easy way in the crock pot. Most of my attempts made solid color roving. Quite by accident I got this when I pulled the roving out of the crock pot this morning. Happy.


Yellow roving and green roving to be spun up and then plyed with white for my ‘Creamsicle’ collection (ha ha ha I decided to have a ‘collection’. awesome)


This is the first Creamsicle batch done up in orange


lots of Creamsicle!


This is a blue and purple yarn I call HippoMoon


More HippoMoon


Noodly purple stuff that needs to be soaked and hung up. Still unsure about what I will do with it.


It’s like chest hair for Grimace!


oh my god! I love my moon boots!


How could you not??


Even Maddie loves my Moon Boots!!!

Today, Maddie turns 8 years old. You wouldn’t know she was 8 when you hung out with her. She is bright and active and definitely outliving most shar pei expectations! Happy Birthday, Maddie! Eight years old is BIG GIRL TIMES!

I still miss you

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Oh two years on and still the pain is amazing and sharp. Right there behind my breast bone, lodged and unmoving. It’s more compartmentalized now. Grief of loss. Missing you. I’ve accepted that I will never see you again, but acceptance is a responsibility, not a panacea. I still want you back, I still imagine going back in time and changing just one thing. Any single thing would have made the difference and you would still be alive. I accept that I cannot change any of those things. I will always have gotten off the phone when I did, I will always have started the walk when I did, the walk would end at that precise moment. 5 seconds earlier and you would have made it safely across the street to see the man who was walking by. 10 seconds later and you would not have even seen the man at all and you would not have run like that.
15 seconds longer on the phone? A few extra minutes to walk an extra block? I don’t know. I cannot change it. I accept that everything moves ever forward.
Tonight, distracted by the pain of today, I cut my finger rather badly. David wrapped it for me. It’s wrapped in the leftover pink medical tape that we got to dress your ear after your surgery. How fitting that such an amazingly painful wound would be dressed in your bandages; that you are still somehow comforting me.
I often try to avoid comparing my relationship to you to that of a parent and a child, but if I’ve learned anything these past few months it’s to own your emotions. You were my heart, my grace, my redemption. You taught me patience and loyalty. From the moment I brought you home, all little and shivering, I wanted to spread wings around you and encompass you within me. I loved you fiercely and viscerally and and more deeply than anything else in my life. This pain I feel is equal to the depths of my love for you.
I miss you, I love you Ghengis

HI HI HI HI HI HI!!! It’s me!

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HI HI HI HI!!! HI!! HI! I am Chester that is me I know my name! my name is Chester and that is me!
And I know things! The thing that I know is all of the stuff! and I will tell you the things the things that I know. I know I am Chester. The lady is here the lady is helping me! I know all of the stuff but she knows bullet points, that is the thing she knows. she also knows about pink belly! she gives me pink belly.
The things that I know I am Chester and these are the things I know about ALIVE!!

  • if the lady throws something in the air, catch it in your mouth! It might be a cheerios, a cheerios is okay but also it might be a peanut! I like peanuts. They taste like peanut butter biscuit.
  • Sometimes! oh my god! sometimes if there have been much of a lot of the peanuts in the air that I catch and eat!!! Sometimes! The man says “No more Chester peanuts! Grrrrgrrrr GRRRRR! Gross pick up poop!”
  • ha ha ha ha!! POOP!!! he should learn from me! I am alive and I know things about alive and I do not pick up poop! Who picks up poop? ha ha ha ha!
  • ha ha ha OH MY GOD!!! POOP!!! ha ha ha ha!! Do you want to pick up my pee??? HA HA HA HA!!!!
  • My name is Chester and poop is funny!
  • oh oh!! Oh! Oh my god! and today!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?? I know what happened because I know all of the things!
  • OKAY! Okay! listen! the thing that happened was that we went outside to make peewees and poops (ha ha ha!! That poop’s gonna be PICKED UP!!! get it!!!)
  • So I go outside and I am ready to bark but the lady says the words that are “leave it” and that makes me not bark! then she says the truth “good boy” Is funny because I don’t even know what I want to bark at yet but she says that so I don’t bark!
  • BUT!
  • WAIT
  • okay the thing that happened is the thing that I am telling you. I went outside and I didn’t bark but then I saw a SQUIRREL!
  • And the squirrel was RIGHT THERE!! and it was slow! that squirrel was slow and also
  • ALSO
  • that squirrel was damned fat (can I say the word that is damn??)(yes you can)
  • not like the fat that is regular but the fat that is:
  • when that squirrel sits around the tree! it can’t even pick up poop!!!!!
  • HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
  • but then the squirrel said to me!! The squirrel said the thing that was
  • “chk chk chk chk nuuuuuuuuuts? chk chk chk chk nuuuuuuuuuuuuts?”
  • and the thing is!! I know all of the stuff
  • but I didn’t know what the hell! Nuts? I don’t have nuts! they took my nuts!!! Here, pick up poop!!!!
  • I DON’T KNOW!! the squirrel kept saying the thing that was “chk chk chk chk nuuuuuuuuuuts?”
  • And what the hell? because I’m only a little dog but even fat squirrels are littler than me.
  • but then the lady, the lady said the thing that was “hurry up” so I went to go make a poop (pick it up!!! pick up the poop!) and also I had to make peewee. and then Maddie heard the fat squirrel and Maddie went to go look
  • except Maddie can’t look! The squirrel which is so fat it can be seen from PETCO was right about that giant hippo head and the fat fat fatty squirrel was saying “chk chk chk chk chk nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts?” at Maddie and Maddie just looked at the other yard!!!
  • She doesn’t know anything! She only looks ahead! and the squirrel is not there!
  • OH! then we went inside and Maddie wanted to play herfuffle! Do you know herfuffle? I know herfuffle! it is the game that is played with Maddie!
  • oh yeah! the things that I know!
  • The other night the lady was at the thing that was not my toy and Maddie was under the chair and my peener was under my belly (PEENER JOKE) and the man tickled the lady and pretended to chew on her!
  • and the lady made a noise that was a yell!
  • and Maddie played herfuffle with the man but
  • but Maddie also did barking with the herfuffle and she NEVER DOES THAT!!!
  • um, so I know that Maddie will make the bark in her herfuffle if you make the lady yell!
  • oh! I’m not supposed to make a bed in the ‘cleen lawn-drees’
  • then why are the cleen lawn drees on the bed???

Okay! Hi Hi HI! My name is chester and I have a peener and I have told you the things that are the stuff I know about being alive and how to ALIVE things. OH! Also we made the bullet points so that you would know that it was for real.
But Chester is always for real. My name is Chester.