I have the coolest friends ever. Period. My friends kick ass and that’s the way it should be. If you don’t kick ass, rock hard or generally bring me joy, then you can’t be my friend.
And when the revolution comes, if you aren’t my friend, I’ll try to find you a position cleaning my hippo stables or something.
p.s. I think i’m gonna need a clubhouse or something for me and my special friends.

Let me make this clear, I’m laughing at you, not with you. I mean for fuck’s sake, man, it was SHAMPOO!!!
Still laughing.

Silly Mark he called me a sensible woman.
I am many many many things, I’m sure you all have some choice titles for me. This is the first time I’ve been called a sensible woman.
I feel sort of dowdy.

You know how when you are leaving somewhere you kinda stop caring about things? Yeah, that’s me at work.
When you combine my winning charm with my intense apathy it makes for some interesting office politics. I pretty much respond to every request with “I don’t really care” and varying volumes and level of whine.
Also, I’ve been here in this position for 4 years and today the director of development came up to me and introduced herself to me. Um…we’ve met, I’ve been here for FOUR YEARS, we work together, we gossip at potlucks, my office is directly below hers. Still, she told me it was nice to finally meet me.
I guess it is possible for one person to care less about their job than I do. Hard to imagine.

So I’m in the middle of a love life type quandary at the moment (the details of which I won’t share here and surprisingly, it’s probably not the kind of quandary you think). I’ve spent a lot of time pondering the situation in my head, trying to look at it from a bunch of different angles. Yesterday, I decided it was time to seek out advice from my friends.
You learn a lot about your friends and family just by listening to their advice. They tell you what they would do in the situation. My more emotional friends give me advice dealing with emotions, the more rational give me logical advice (obviously). I look at the advice and suddenly I see my friends in a whole new light, their advice to me gives me insight into them. Also, asking for advice like this give you a chance to see how well your friends know you. Some friends don’t realize just how deeply I analyze a situation internally before I go to other people. If I find myself saying, “I already thought of that” or “I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!” then I realize that these people don’t know me too well.
Funny thing is, I’ve gotten such conflicting bits of advice, all making sense in their own way, that I’m stuck right back where I started, unable to decide how to proceed. I think I need to present all the facts to all of my friends at once and let them battle it out til they come to one unified decision. Of course, I won’t believe them or take their advice, I just want to know what they’d say.