For some reason, I am the queen of relationship advice. People come to me all the time with their issues and questions. I know more sensitive information about my coworkers than is really necessary. People I barely know will lay their situations down in front of me and look to me with guidance.
I’ve always found this to be a bit peculiar. I’m hardly qualified to give relationship advice considering my own record with relationships and I’m certainly not trained in any way.
The thing is, I listen, ask some questions and then dispense my answers based on my own outside perspective. In the last couple of weeks I’ve had more than the regular number of people come to me with their questions and I’ve started to analyze myself and my advice. I’ve realized lately that more often than not my advice runs at the “stop being a baby” end of the spectrum couple with the occasional, “you’re being a jackass about this” or “stop and really think about why this person is angry with you!” and “you made this choice, you are the only one who can unmake it. No one is going to save you”
Part of me thinks that my advice is valid, that many situations that people find themselves in are created because they are being petulant babies that aren’t willing to see the bigger picture, they aren’t able to see how the other person might be feeling or why they might be doing the things they are doing. On the other hand, maybe I am becoming a bit of a misanthropist. Maybe I just tell people to stop being jackasses because I think everyone is a jackass and I hate them all, i just don’t realize it. I don’t know. I mean I don’t think I hate everyone, but maybe it’s one of those things you don’t realize until the peasants come with their torches and pokey sticks.
I do give a fair amount of advice that leans towards “yes, your boyfriend is being unreasonable”, “No, that is certainly not something you should have to put up with” and “well, it DOES sound like your mom is selfish and sucking the life out of you….run…and get caller ID”.
Sometimes I wish I was nicer and i could tell people what they wanted to hear, but I just don’t think that it’s very honest to give advice I don’t believe. All in all, you jackasses keep coming back to me so maybe you like the swift psychic kicks to your emotional asses. or something. Babies!
Just kidding.

many of our weekends typically go like this. David and I wake up around 9ish, we debate who should take the dogs out. We fall asleep and wake up thirty minutes later to have the same debate. David takes the dogs out and comes back to bed. The people and the dogs realign themselves and we snooze some more.
Finally, David or I get up and make coffee and sometimes even breakfast for the other and we crawl back into bed. We wake up slowly, together, sipping pur coffee, eating our breakfast burritos or eggs or vegetarian biscuits and gravy while listening to NPR and playing with the dogs. Occasionally we can spend the better part of the day in bed cuddled together, reading, crocheting, giving belly rubs to deserving puppies.
I used to stress out on weekend mornings. I felt like I was failing in some way, that I should be out “there” doing “stuff” experiencing “things”. It took me a while to stop feeling guilty and to realize that spending a day in quiet comfort with the people and puppies that you love is important. I realized that I didn’t have to run constantly, I didn’t have to coordinate brunch every damned weekend, I didn’t have to wear myself out to attain some goal I didn’t want to reach.
When I look back on things, I realize that some of my favorite moments are those moments with the 4 of us bundled together listening to Prairie Home Companion or Splendid Table and laughing. When I realize how much I miss Ghengis, I am grateful for those weekend mornings I spent with him, those quiet lazy days when he fall asleep next to me, belly up, luxuriating in my attentions.
It seems so simple, not even worth talking about, but it makes me happy. This morning David took the dogs out. Later I got up and made coffee and breakfast for us. We talked, he read, I crocheted, we discussed the history of Russian politics and Maddie’s health. We spent time being quiet and just enjoying the company. We played with Chester and comforted Maddie and I am happier and more relaxed than I can express.