So I go out and take the dog to the dog park and walk the perimeter a couple times (it’s a big park, there’s a lot of walking to be had), the walk did me some good, less cranky now.
I’m also less cranky because it was reaffirmed for me that no matter how much my life might be bugging me at the moment there will always…ALWAYS…be someone who hates their life more AND their coping skills are so bad that you have no choice but to realize that you’ve got it pretty good.
Tonight I met a woman I’ll call Mary. She hates her job AND she’s completely clingy and desperate to share her pain with you. She kept asking me about myself and my job and weaving my short answers into her longer diatribe about how awful things are.
* People will stab you in the back any chance they get.
* The christian funeral care business is rather cut-throat.
* She spent ten years as one of the best sales managers in the district only to be shoved out by people with no ethics or moral compass.
* Her christian co-workers won’t train her to do new things at the funeral home.
* Now (NOW) is the BEST time for me to make my funeral arrangements, I can lock in 2005 prices and the longer I live the better a deal it will be. (I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of investment scheme paid off at the time of your death).
* The biggest mistake you can make at a job is to train in your coworkers because they will learn and then pass you up, leaving you behind to flounder. I wanted to point out the inherent flaw in this logic, but the dog was tangling with a ridgeback and I thought I should intercede.
As I left she continued to holler at me, “It’s so nice to finally meet one human being who is not obsessed with money…you know people only care about money…you’re not like that…”
I’m not like that. Good for me.
Everyone needs a daily Mary affirmation, go, now, to your local dog park or crazy house and have Mary show you the way.


Why is it that most home showings must be scheduled at the most inopportune times. Jesus, I know I’m supposed to be glad that people are coming to look at the house and accomodating them would lead to more house sales than telling them to piss off, but I am so tired of having to cancel plans, put them on hold, rearrange them or, even worse, come up with plans because all I really want to do is take one evening where all I do is curl up with the dog, ignore everyone and read my damned book.
Tonight’s one of those ‘interrupt my one night to chill’ versions of the home showing. “Oh, no, 7:30-8:30 pm is a lovely time to show my house. Not so early as to get it out of the way and certainly not late enough for me to justify murdering you in the moonlight.”
I know, I know, everyone’s working, they can’t all come look at houses in the middle of the day when it’s convenient for me. Most days I’d just accept this and grab the dog and go to the dog park or something, but I decided not to go to the baseball game, I gave up a fun social activity that I’ve come to love in the last couple years so that I could have a few hours alone.
Bleh, it’s just the frustration of not having any control over this aspect of my life. I want this house to sell, I really do (contrary to what others have said). This is the last hurdle for me and I want to get over it, so I am happy when people come to see the house. It’s just really hard to see the big picture when you’ve spent the last 10 days moving yourself at a furious pace in the company of other people (people who I adore and doing activities that have filled me with such joy, let’s be clear here). David’s got two classes tonight and I was looking forward to quiet.
Ah well, I made a joke today about pope benedict…eggs benedict…something something…and I’m sure God’s having his way with my psyche now as some sort of revenge.
Also, my skin is sluicing off my body at a furious rate, unfortunately not in giant sheets but as some sort of massive body dandruff. It is truly disgusting.
…and…I called my boss before I went in to work today to see if he wanted me to bring doughnuts to the meeting this morning (or more specifically, I wanted a doughnut and figured if I got enough for everyone I could use the corporate card AND jutify buying my morning coffee on the corp card as some sort of travel fee), he agreed that doughnuts were an excellent idea and I was on my way. I found out this afternoon that there’s a new policy in accounting that whenever you buy food with your corporate card you have to list all that was purchased, the purpose for the purchase AND everybody present who consumed the food. This is not such a big deal for me as I generally just do the occasional doughnut run or department lunch outing on the card, but one of the other departments regularly buys a smorgasbord of breakfast food and then invites a bunch of people over as an “improving interdepartmental relations” move. They’re screwed. I’ll be sure to leave a list of all that I consumed at these little events (1/2 bagel, peanut butter, crackers, cheese, fruit, 87 cups of coffee).
Okay all you foamed up peeps in my hump kingdom, I’m off to lay bear traps and scatter plumper porn around the spare rooms.