yar mateys

* I don’t want to be a web celebrity, I want to be a web starlet.
* Does anybody else have the overwhelming urge to punch the shit out of Rene Zellweger? Don’t front, you know one good punch would make things better.
* Sadly, I had to miss roller derby last night. My coworker’s wife is a Dagger Doll!! It was their first competition and I was eager to go but scheduling conflicts superceded.
* Not so sadly, I missed Roller Derby in order to go to David’s friend’s house for dinner. A nice spread of home cooked, very authentic chinese food. So good I could cry. Tofu with salmon, asparagus in black bean sauce, blanched squid, whole fish with the head still attached and on and on. I get goofy just thinking about that meal.
* Took G to the dog park, which I mentioned earlier. I forgot to mention how often dogs get peed on there. It goes like this…one dog pees and goes off to play, 5 dogs converge on the new pee spot to investigate. Once it is determined that the pee-er is not a bitch in heat or a monster prepared to eat their heads the biggest dog will pee on the new pee spot, oftentimes while the other dogs are still determining what kind of pee they are smelling. Sometimes two or three dogs will get their heads peed on at one pee spot. There is some social strata engineering at work here that we might learn from.
* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
* Girl Scout cookie time! Bitch, step back, you will not be eating ANY Animal Treasures. Oh hell no.
* There’s a lot I want to write about the picture on the Thin Mint box, but honestly, there is no way I can write it without sounding like an even bigger asshole than I already am.
* I finally lost my celebrity sex tape virginity last week. You’d think with tommy and pamela or paris hilton or SOMETHING I would have seen one of these damned sex tapes. I hadn’t until Fridey. It was Fred Durst’s. I feel so dirty. I’m never ever going to get clean.
* Consequently, I had a dream that I felt up Paris Hilton and then screamed at hore for being a useless attention whore.
* I also had a whole series of dreams in quick succession that all involved me being involved in impossible situations where all i could do was sit down and cry for frustration. Sadly, all those emotions stayed with me when I woke up and I ended up crying in the shower feeling all frustrated. I hate PMS.
* Tonight I’m making salmon for dinner. Fascinating.