My 100 List

1) I’m 5 feet tall. I stopped growing when I was 12, I never grew another inch after that. I was always the shortest kid in class.
2) My sister is my greatest confidant. I tell her more than I tell anyone else on the planet. There is a lot I don’t tell her or anyone.
3) The most important thing to me, more important than a career or money is relationships. I put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining friendships. Tis is probably not my boss’ favorite aspect of me. I guard my friendships and relationships fiercely and I take betrayals far too seriously.
4) I think if you walk away from a relationship saying it’s the worst thing that happened to you then you’re the fool for staying.
5) I have a few meals that I make to impress. They look like tons of work, people are impressed, the secret is that they are so amazingly easy I can put a lot of effort into visuals.
6) I love space movies. I love space monster movies more than all others. I love the made up technology, the made up biology, the made up cultures and rules. I love the vast differences in mood between say Star Trek and Alien. AVP was a terrible movie, but I own it and I watch it because I love the fight scenes. Alien and Aliens are probably the two best, Event Horizon has great creepy value but pushes things too far at the end, First contact is the best of the Star Trek movies, Episodes 1-3 are a disgrace to the Star Wars franchise.
7) I also love the Jurassic Park movies.
8) just so you don’t think I’m completely lacking in culture I also love Kieslowski, Wenders, Jarmusch, Yimou, and the Coen Brothers
9) The Big Lebowski is the best movie ever made. Ever. Don’t front, you know I’m right.
10) Achewood is the best daily web comic out there.
11) I’ve been in love 3 times. Had my heart broken once. I learned a lot about myself each time. I’m a little more cynical than ever before but also optimistic. I feel this combination keeps me level headed and realistic, more analytical about myself than I used to be.
12) I love to watch people. Not in the literal ‘sit at the mall and people watch’ sense but in the more social sense. i love watching people interact, I learn from it, I try to learn from other people’s successes as well as their mistakes. It’s made me social. It’s made me more reserved.
13) I can’t dance but I’m taking a class.
14) The hardest lesson I learned was to step back and allow people to get hurt.
15) I suffer from insomnia. Most times I can just deal with it, sometimes it gets overwhelming.
16) I don’t like onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, olives, leeks, or dense bread that it too warm.
17) Conversely, I can eat sushi til I feel the seams bursting.
18) I bruise easily. Oftentimes I look like an abuse victim of sorts. As of this writing I have a rather large one on my inner right arm, a few smaller ones on my left arm and a mostly faded one that runs the length of the inside of my left arm.
19) I like my cleavage and hate my ass.
20) I’ve never killed anyone, I’ve never had the urge but I DO understand where that urge comes from.
21) I’ve never seriously attempted suicide, but I have seriously contemplated it.
22) My vices have changed as I’ve gotten older, they’re more socially acceptable but they are no better for my body than the ones of my youth.
23) I love my car more than the laws of nature allow, but I still dont take great care of it. It did get new tires recently, that helps.
24) The idea of being in a long term relationship scares the hell out of me, but I’m jumping in feet first as there really is no other way to do it.
25) Schadenfreude is my friend. Sometimes I just sit back with schadenfreude and laugh and laugh and laugh. Schadenfreude and i have a date in six months, he’s bringing the chips, i’m bringing the beer.
26) I do things in 3’s, be it food or in my writing or my daily activities. Sometimes the 3’s are secretly hidden, sometimes obvious, and sometimes missing altogether just to throw people off.
27) My two closest friends, the ones that know me best, live in other states. Normally, with this modern age we live in, this doesn’t bother me. Some days, however, it’s just too much to want to go crash on their couch and whine ceaselessly. I think they’re happy they live so far away when I am like that.
28) I don’t believe in god, but I wish I did.
29) Sometimes I dream of going back to school and stydying paleobiology with an emphasis on evolutionary modeling.
30) I’m fully bisexual, I’m attracted to men and women equally.
31) It’s like comparing apples to oranges.
32) The best people are the people willing to push their boundaries.
33) I fidget almost constantly.
34) Smiles, eyes and hands are the most attractive.
35) I don’t like listening to music that I don’t know. I prefer music that I can sing along to, this makes it hard to find new music. Usually it takes a concerted effort on someone else’s part to get me to listen to new music.
36) I have a form of color blindness
37) I’m addicted to ice cream, currently Haagen-Dasz mint chip. Good stuff. I don’t like sharing
38) I’ve stopped defending myself and competing. I know who I am, I don’t need to defend it.
39) I started wearing make up again because I like feeling a little girlie.
40) Shopping for friends is by far one of the best things in the world.
41) My mom reminds me to take the high road as often as possible but I lost the map somewhere along the way.
42) My dog is my only audience for “The Amazing Adventures of Mavis Potato and Charlie Pumpkin” a series of stories I tell him about a girl and her dog. Charlie Pumpkin has to wear his cap in the grocery store so they won’t know he’s a dog, he likes red fruit soda and has to refrain from biting the samples lady. When he misbehaves he has to spend the night under the slide in the park and one time Mavis Potato and Charlie Pumpkin found an iceberg of Frosty Paws in the park. Yeah, a whole series of stories that I tell my dog about a girl and her dog. He’s the only one who ever hears them.
43) I own maybe 3 things total from my childhood. I had gotten good at not becoming attached to things, then I messed up and got attached to some stuff that my ex ended up throwing away. It was a stark reminder to not get attached.
44) Son of a Preacher Man is by far one of the finest tunes ever recorded
45) My character writing is strong but I completely lack in plot.
46) Monsters are real, they just aren’t what you expect them to be.
47) People come to my office for impromptu dance parties, tea, 2 minutes of joy or relationship advice. If it weren’t for the work I’d love my job.
48) I only sleep on the edge of my king sized bed because otherwise it’s too hard to reach the alarm.
49) The alarm goes off even on the weekends. I don’t get up that early on the weekends but it wakes me up enough that I don’t sleep too late after.
50) I prefer crocheting to knitting, I’m faster at it and can create more elaborate results.
51) It took willpower, eating less and exercising to lose 80 pounds. Lots of willpower.
52) I’ve fallen out of contact with a lot of my friends in the past couple of months. I feel bad about this and I have started to make amends.
53) I don’t know anything about comic books, dungeons and dragons, fairy elf things or that magic card game.
54) Sometimes I see things so inexplicable that I wish I could get a picture, but I know that even a picture won’t convey the scene.
55) I would get a BMW simply for the iPod functionality, but I’m easily dazzled by razzle.
56) Sometimes I just don’t know if my life is a John Hughes or John Carpenter film. I don’t really like my options.
57) I have the greatest hairstylist in the world. Seriously. No one does my hair better. I owe him a lot.
58) Porn has a purpose.
59) Recurrent dreams include my grandmothers old house, drowning, being inexplicably in love with someone I don’t know, pregnancy, smoking.
60) People confess things to me, deeply personal things, things they should not be telling me. I know all kinds of things about people and I never ask. I think the fact that I don’t react or say anything when they talk goads them into telling me more and more. I don’t think you quite comprehend what i know about some people, it’s amazing really.
61) The best gifts I’ve gotten were the spontaneous ones.
62) My specialties are: rack of lamb, risotto, pancakes, potato gratin, buerre blanc and buerre rouge sauces. Learn your sauces people and you can never go wrong in the kitchen. A good sauce can cover anything, a bad sauce can always be recovered and turned into a different kind of sauce.
63) I need a cigarette right now. really.
64) Marionettes creep me out.
65) My friends were right, time heals. It also sharpens focus and gives perspective.
66) I don’t read nearly as much as I used to. I hate that.
67) I don’t appreciate Dave Eggers. I just don’t. I don’t think he’s all that. He’s not a bad writer, he’s just not all that interesting.
68) In an amazing contradiction I’m an introvert that LOVES to meet new people. I thrive on meeting new people and creating new friendships but I’m hugely shy and uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations.
69) I filter about 75% of the stuff that runs through my mind. I react so fast that I have to make sure the filter is on high at all times. I think of the cruelest or meanest responses to things and I don’t mean them at all, they just fit the situation. The recipients of these comments don’t see it this way.
70) I think maybe my singing voice isnt as bad as I had been told and believed for years.
71) Macs win over PC’s for mostly aesthetic reasons. I do so love my PowerBook G4 though.
72) My house smells like onions and garlic right now.
73) People don’t have crushes on me.
74) Everyday I fight the urge to walk away.
75) I still haven’t had a cigarette.
76) I’m terrible at math, housekeeping, music, organizing, and remembering to do little tasks.
77) Hippos, trilobites, dinosaurs, pikaia and anomolocharis are my favorite animals. I can only see one of them for real in the zoo.
78) I like decadent but not ostentatious cars like Mercedes or BMW, not Ferrari or Porsche.
79) Art with words is the best art in the world.
80) I love love love to wear high heel shoes but almost never have the opportunity.
81) I can never remember people’s names, when you tell me a story I immediately attach a nickname…’the virgin’ ‘army guy’ ‘meth dude’ ‘africa girl’ and on and on. When you come back to tell me a story I’ll be all like “is this ‘hummer guy’ or ‘velvet pants dude’?”
82) I can never make decisions when there are too many options. Narrow things down for me, don’t just say ‘where do you want to eat’.
83) As much as I want to, I know I will never get to go to space.
84) I don’t tell my family how much I appreciate them as often as I should.
85) I fucking hate 80’s retro novelty music shit. We’ve moved on, listening to Tiffany or Oingo-Boingo for the ‘cheese factor’ is just annoying. It’s not fun to listen to something bad. I will admit to occasionally listening to Journey. I’m not proud of this, but I don’t subject anyone else to it.
86) Who’s the queen of beginner’s luck? Me!
87) I wish I had more time to enter into writing projects with my friends.
88) I have some surprisingly old fashioned dreams.
89) Every year my cynical self takes one of my old fashioned dreams and crosses it off the list as either stupid or unattainable. It is both sad and freeing.
90) I work at an art and design college. I’m not artistic, my job really has nothing to do with being artistic but when I tell people where I work they can’t believe that I’m not an artist. Why did I pick an art college to work at? Good pay, good benefits, convenient work location, that’s it really. I’ve got no real interest in the artistic process.
91) I scored a new sofa and loveseat for free today. It’s a helluva deal for something almost new. Not my style but I’m not complaining.
92) **censored to protect my mother’s sensibilities**
93) I’ve taken to answering my work phone with either “hey sexy” “what up, dawg” or “yo! punk!” regardless of who is calling. I only do this on internal calls, not external ones.
94) I get crushes easily and lose them just as fast.
95) The world is equally better and worse than it was 50, 100, 1000 years ago.
96) I like silly, romantic gestures, they mean the world to me. Thoughtfulness rates higher than obligation any day.
97) Cheer up emo kid.
98) 3 threads of thought running in my head at any given time. I tend to jump between them in a conversation. The problem is that no one else is privy to the leaps from one thread to the other. This causes all manner of confusion.
99) I once got into a fight with a friend of mine. The next day he sent me a dozen yellow roses. The fight was my fault, I was being pissy and cranky. I’ve never forgotten the gesture and strive to return it.
100) I sincerely and truly hope you are happy (even you, Cinderella, even you).