So the other day I send the boy to the grocery store with a list of 5 items to pick up 3 of them for the breakfast I am making in exchange for his trip to the store, one item for dinner and 1 snack. The grocery store is 6 blocks away.
He comes back 90 minutes later with 3 bags of groceries (and I’m dying of starvation at this point). He picked up 4 items on the list and substituted a healthier snack for the doritos I had on the list.
And the nice thing is that he totally gets this healthy grazing food, I mean not like super-healthy snack food or anything like that(cuz i like healthy and all but I’ve got my limits, I don’t want to live forever and I want to actually have fun eating the stuff I eat before I die), but that sort of low key healthy stuff like cottage cheese instead of ice cream (I keep us stocked in that, don’t worry), tortilla chips and salsa, just whatever. My point is, he is the king of buying the food you can graze on so I can just wander into the kitchen, eat a few bites of cottage cheese and move on, wander back in and have a couple tortilla chips and do my laundry, stuff some of those mini carrots in my mouth and then go read.
Maybe I’m just fascinated with this in the same way that I’m fascinated with someone’s kitchen when I go visit their house, they have different food in there and you want to try it. I have different food here and I want to eat it.
I also think that he got these things so he’d have stuff to eat when he was over since I don’t really grocery shop all that often and tend to just get things as I need them.
On a semi-related note, how did our parents manage to keep a fridge full of food and not have it all go bad all the time. Seriously, I get eggs I use a few and 27 weeks later I realize I have these eggs that went bad months before sitting in there. I’ve completely stopped buying milk for this reason, and I’m constantly throwing out jams and salsas that are like 87 years old. How did they get that old? I’m not even that old!
AND people find it upsetting when they come over and I don’t have things like milk or ketchup. I don’t like milk, i don’t drink it, I don’t buy it. Ketchup is fine, I use it if it’s there, but I never have this overwhelming urge to eat ketchup so i never think too buy it. Does ketchup go bad? We’d find out if I had some. I also don’t buy soda, I don’t really drink it anymore, not for any healthy eating reason, I just don’t think to get any and when I do have it I never drink it (soda doesnt really go bad though, that’s nice) and the problem with that is that I never really have anything to offer my guests to drink when they come over…”I have um…water…wine, and um…scotch to drink”. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m pretty lacking in the whole beverage arena. I don’t drink soda, juice, kool-aid or milk so I don’t have them in the house. What the hell do people keep around to offer to people in the way of beverages?
Lastly, I went to Aldi for the first and last time last night. That place was so ghetto even the ghetto would be scared in there. They offer an amazing assortment of off-brand (they call it private label) products designed to look exactly like name brand products. Everything in the store had this creepy vibe to it and they don’t bag your groceries. Not like ‘they didn’t put my groceries in bags’ but more like ‘they don’t even have bags to put my groceries in’. Aldi = wrong.
Okay, I’m off to clean up the mess from the impromptu dinner party last night.

One thought on “Cornucopis

  1. Hilarious..I just bumped into your post as I made a spelling mistake looking for this website Cornucopia..
    Anyway..had to say that I too am constantly throwing crap out of the fridge and don’t buy those things either..fave beverages..aloe juice with lime, coconut water, herbal water kefir..
    ohhh and we serve tea to our guests! thanks for the chuckle

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