What I Learned In 2004 Is…
I learned I am stronger than I ever thought possible and I learned to hold on to that strength and that resolve no matter what.
I learned that cats may be cool, but dogs make far more interesting companions.
I learned who my true friends were and you can be sure I judged harshly here. If you ‘stepped back’, ‘gave me space’, did not come forward or just generally were not there when I needed you, you got bumped to the ‘acquantances’ category. I figure most who got bumped probably don’t mind anyway, but t be clear, if you are unsure where you stand don;t bother asking. If you offered to hide bodies for me (or even generate them for me), you’ll be getting an extra gift when santa comes ’round.
I learned that as much as I hate flying, I hate not traveling even more.
I learned that there’s more than one way to load a dishwasher.
I learned that ‘shmoo’ doesn’t have a ‘C’ in it.
I learned that while you can never be hip enough or thin enough for most people, there are people who like you for your chubby dorkiness.
I learned that too little nicotine and caffeine will give you a massive headache. Same with too much. Having vices is a delicate balancing act.
I learned that there is a very very important difference between Trojan Ultra-pleasure condoms and Trojan Lasting Pleasure condoms. Seriously, the difference between ‘ultra’ and ‘lasting’ makes all the difference in the world and using the wrong ones can cause perplexing issues.
I learned that you CAN measure the caliber of a person by the company they keep and in fact it is probably the best indicator. Relatedly, you can learn a lot about a person by how they treat those close to them.
I learned that the more sentimental value you assign to an object the greater your chance of losing that object later. This was a lesson I learned the hard way as a child and somehow forgot to carry over into my adulthood. I lost a gift that an old friend gave to me, an engraved lighter, something I cherished and now it’s lost. That hurt a lot.
I learned that mirth and joy couldbe found anywhere and you’d do yourself some good to find it and laugh whenever possible.
I learned that I’m charming and I smell like pea soup.
I learned that once you find someone willing to cut your hair as short as you want it you hold on to him as tight as possible. My hairdresser is one of dearest friends (though, to be honest it has less and less to do with my hair every day).
I learned that my body could betray me in ways I never expected and yet when I attack it with cigarettes, caffeine, doritos and chinese food it still manages to breathe.
I learned that parity is possible.
I learned that every day starts with a sunrise and if that isn’t reason enough to get up then you should go back to bed.
What I Learned In 2004 Is…