The Thin Pink Line

You take all the precautions necessary, lord knows you do. You’re completely careful, you know the rules.
You know the rules and yet there you are, alone in the house, alone in the bathroom, pushing the dog away with your foot and peeing on a plastic stick.
You’re careful, you take precautions, but 5 days is a long time.
5 days is a long time, so is 5 minutes.
You fidget, play with your hair, put lotion on the remains of that constellation of pimples over your lip, check the stick, compose this entry in your head, look at your nail polish, check the stick, look for wrinkles, check the stick.
The first pink line shows up.
What are your options? What are you going to do if that second pink line shows up? Who would you tell? Who would you never tell, not even in a million years?
Would you tell him?
5 days is a long time…so is 5 minutes.
No, really, what are your options? Your life isn’t just in flux, your life is a fucking tornado that shows no sign of abating. Look around you, you’re standing in the middle of a room covered in the brown confetti of recently chewed toilet paper tube. You can’t even keep your dog from making a mess in the time it takes you to shower. Speaking of the dog, when are you going to cut his nails? And did you get his heartworm medication this month? Wait, here’s a good question…just how close to punching the shit out of him were you when he chewed your security blanket? Think about it, your option here is pretty clear.
Sucks, doesn’t it? Sucks to have the obvious answer to the question be the one answer you never wanted. If your most intimate wish is granted and you refuse the offer, do you ever get a second chance? How does karma play on this? Maybe you should rethink this.
Or just check the fucking stick again.
First pink line is very clearly there. The circle is blank. There is no second pink line.
There is no second pink line.
Your best friend calls right as you confirm this. You tell him, relieved, feeling silly for worrying. He understands, though, talks you through.
Secretly, 15 minutes later, you check again.
Just to be sure.