Very Mouth Happy

Everyone has the Kanji tattoos, I think I should get one, too. Not one that says ‘love’ or ‘peace’ or ‘wisdom’, that would suck. I don’t need those words on my body. No, I want something like ‘Buddha Delight’ or ‘Angry Death of 1000 Shames’ or ‘Molar’. People will ask what my tattoo says and I’ll respond, “Fertile Soil”.
The perplexity on their faces would be worth it.
The problem is (and, lo, there is always a problem) that occasionally tattoo artists have been known to tell their customers that the Kanji symbol for ‘It burns when I pee” actually means ‘Love’. These poor chicks find out 2 years later at 1 am in a seedy bar in NYC as some guy walks by and asks why she has ‘It burns when I pee’ tattooed on her lower back. So, what I’m saying it that while it’s fun to tell someone that I have ‘Flesh Wound’ tattooed on my shoulder, it’s a pain to have to explain to someone who can read Kanji that it was intentional.
Person who can read Kanji: Do you know your back says ‘Capture the slippery bean curd’?
Me: Yeah
PWCRK: Must’ve sucked when you realized that, huh?
Me: No, it was intentional.
PWCRK: Riiiight, buddy, whatever you say.
So you can see my dilemma.