What the hell is wrong with me?

What the hell was I thinking? Tell me that? I start every day with a homemade latte consisting of 4 shots of espresso and an equal amount of soymilk. It seems like a lot and yet you don’t want to see me without it.
So today I had my coffee, then at lunch I had my green tea. This is normal for me. Then I went to meet Jen at the coffee shop and foolishly ordered a drink with 3 shots of espresso in it. What the hell!?! I am literally sitting here vibrating and my chest feels tight.
I need a highly trained monkey or something to sit on my shoulder at all times and remind me to stop making stupid decisions. This monkey should not shit on my shirt.