When I grow up

You know what kind of person I want to be when I grow up? I want to be the kind of person who goes to a potluck and brings the “Kitty Litter” cake and thinks it is clever and funny. Then I want to spend the rest of the afternoon pretending to be scandalized when people eat the “cat poop”. Won’t that be amusing. I will wear my puffy paint sweat suit combo and slip my oversized sunglases into my cute embroidered purse that says “Grandmas are just antique little girls”.
Hopefully, I will have enough presence of mind to slit my wrists and walk into traffic before I get to that point.