Zognar lives in a secret hovel near the copier.
When someone comes to use the copier he rushes out and bashes his 37 inch titanium dick into the copier.
I have never seen Zognar.
I know he is there because I hear loud banging and crashing and when I look there is only a perplexed looking student or professor staring at the machine as it howls in anger at them.
Some might suggest that perhaps Zognar doesn’t exist and perhaps the damage done is the student’s fault, but I fail to see how anyone who was not a certifiable sociopath could cause so much damage to one machine.