Let’s talk about how you got here, shall we. How did you find this site? How did you get from whatever it was you were looking at to here.
Did you search for something?
Did you follow a link?
Was it just some random pounding on the keyboard?

Click the image for a larger view

That image is a list of search terms that brought people to this site.
Velvet Cerebellum? okay, that makes sense. It’s the name of the site, but it is not precisely the name in the URL so searching for the name of the site makes sense. Searching for velvet-c confuses me. You already know the url, why are you searching for it?
Beebombom also perplexes me because it’s a word I made up, it’s in exactly one post, it’s utter nonsense and only occasionally will actually turn up a result on Google.
Chris Noth, Subaru Brat, floating raviolis, neils yard dairy, formfit panties…these are all things I have written about at one time or another. Knitting? Yeah, I knit and I’ve talked about it. Monkeysnaps? no idea.
Plastic vaginal plungers manufacturers??? What the fuck???? Seriously! What the fuck is that? I have no idea what that is, I have no idea what a plastic vaginal plunger is and I certainly don’t know who manufactures them!
Who are you people? Why are you researching plastic vaginal plungers??? WHY??? Seriously, if you or someone you know is researching plastic vaginal plungers or the manufacture of said plungers and you have stumbled upon this website, let me know! You dn’t have to reveal anything about yourself, just tell me about these plungers.
Also, “don’t want to hear about vagina”? Who DOESN’T want to hear about vagina? Speaking of vagina, there was a 100 pound vagina replica on the 3rd floor at work today. I make sure to mention it was a replica because I am sure that somewhere at work there is an actual 100 pound vagina.
“covered elastic underpants”. aaaaah yeah…hammer time.

“Depend upon it that if a man talks of his misfortunes there is something in them that is not disagreeable to him.”
Samuel Johnson
There are those of us who are listeners and dispensers of advice. We are the people that others go to when they need their problems put into perspective or they need advice on how to proceed. We are the one who can look at a quandary from all angles and make suggestions from an objective point of view.
It’s not bad work.
In fact it can be rewarding to see that advice you give fingered to life by this other person.
There are those people, however, that come to you with their problems, their needs, their complaints. They come to you and you listen and ask questions, mull things over and give advice and where most people would consider this advice and perhaps even go with it, there are those whose only reaction is to argue.
They have problems, but they also have an almost bottomless bag of reasons why they cannot move forward and fix these problems. You, the giver of advice, will find yourself in an exhausting race towards a moving finish line. You can’t keep up. Every solution you give is fraught with danger.
And then you realize that it is inaction more than anything that the person with the problem craves. And, as Samuel Johnson so eloquently put it, there is something not disagreeable to the person. They enjoy being where they are. They don’t complain about their problemns because they want resolution, but they complain about their problems in the same manner that we might speak of our vacations or promotions. They are the best things these people have.
A thank you to Alex for reminding me that sometimes it’s not my fault that I don’t have the right answers. Sometimes, the right answer just isn’t,

I figured for my 1000th post i would do something spectacular and exciting…but all I’ve got is another meme. Sorry dudes. Later I’ll write about the dogs. you like to hear about dogs, right?
The idea is simple … copy, bold the things you’ve done and post. I stole this from Lily.
Here are mine:
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins (technically they were porpoises)
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends (still do)
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married (you know, such as it was)
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad – and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Thank you to David for his kindness and gentleness, his humor and strength. Thank you for loving me.
Thank you to my family for all their love and support.
Thank you to Ghengis for granting me our time together short as it may have been.
Thank you to my friends, the ones who make me laugh, the ones who check up on me, the ones who guide and advise me.
Thank you to Maddie for her infinite patience and comfort.
Thank you to Chester for his goofy love and fat feet.
I am one of the luckiest people I know. Even in the midst of bad happenings and hard times there is always good news to be found and places in which to find comfort. Life moves forward, life moves constantly and I am lucky to be surrounded by such good happenings.
Also, I just pulled the most perfect pumpkin cheesecake out of the oven. Perfect in a million ways. I am beyond thrilled. Thank you to cheesecake for turning out so well.

When David has the stomach flu I end up wiggling the stick and jerkin it up all around town!
So David’s all laid up with Stomach flu and I have to make a pumpkin cheesecake and a pear/fig/chevre dish for dinner at his sister’s. I’m having ongoing electrical issues with the headlights on my car and so I cannot drive it after dark until we get it figured out. David’s car is a manual transmission that I have driven exactly once.
I cannot drive my car as the sun has set.
David is too sick to drive me to the store.
I realized tonight, as I was lurching my way across town that 90% of road rage incidents must come from people driving manuals getting pissed at the jerks who drive too slow and make them get all flustered about hitting the clutch and braking and shifting and all that. That’s my theory anyway.
Tomorrow I will post recipes.
Now I must sleep.