I was in the juice aisle at the grocery store last night looking for some cranberry juice. I was reading labels and whatnot because it seems that the only place I can get 100% cranberry juice with no other juice added and no added sugar or anything just 100% juice from cranberries is Whole Foods. I was trying to find the bottle with the largest proportion of cranberry juice. Apple juice is not cranberry juice, white grape juice is not cranberry juice…and you want to know something else? High fructose corn syrup is not cranberry juice.
What the fuck is high fructose corn syrup doing in juice?? It doesn’t need to be in fruit juice, fruit juice is already sweet. Ah, yes, corn is cheap, hfcs is cheaper than juice. So just use some fruit, some water and a lot of hfcs and sell it as juice. It’s cheaper that way. But that’s just the problem isn’t it? When i go grocery shopping I can afford to look at labels. I can afford to buy the juice, the spaghetti sauce, the bread, the lunch meat, the WHATEVER that doesn’t have all the hfcs and other crap packed into it.
But what if you can’t afford that? Pretty much only Classico and Newman’s Own are the only pasta sauces that do not have hfcs or a ton of other sugars, thickeners, binders, bulkers or whatever. Those sauces usually go on sale at 2 for $5. The Prego sauce is packed full of everything you can’t pronounce and goes on sale at 4 for $5. When you are stretching your food budget to the limit you can’t afford to be too picky.
go look at bread ingredients sometime. compare them by price. The less you pay, the more ingredients you get. How ironic.
When people say it’s hard for poor people to eat healthy, they aren’t just referring to the price of fresh produce vs ramen noodles. It goes way beyond that. But hell, everything marketed at kids with a kick to parents (fruit snax made with real fruit juice!) are almost always something like 2% juice, 90% hfcs 8% binders.
I don’t know, i think it is time to take back our food in some way.

I feel honored and quite loved because my sister bought me the BBC documentary, Life in the Undergrowth based on just one scene of slug sex. That’s it. She saw the slicky entwinings of a pair of hermaphroditic slugs getting it on and insisted that this would be the best present ever for me. She did not even know that I’d had it on my wish list forever!
slug sex. Nothing says “I know you so well” like slug sex.
also, much more to say, not enough time to say it. later later later.

last month I got Joe Jackson and Jackson Brown all mixed up in my head (joe jackson has a higher rating of suckage).
I also get Dan Fogelberg and John Fogarty mixed up all the time. This happens because I am a retard. Remember when Lola Granola had the tattoo of Dan Fogelberg in a scandalous place on her body? Yeah, well up until about 30 minutes ago I always pictured John Fogarty and never thought about it. John Fogarty makes sense in a bad boy tattoo on the ass sort of way. The very fact that Dan Fogelberg does NOT makes sense is what is funny. I just get them mixed up all the time.
Oh, also, Dan Fogelberg died. When I read the headline I pictured John Fogarty and boy…was I confused when I read the list of famous songs. There you have it.
Also, I fixed the comments snafu! Feel free to comment…unless you are a damned spambot trying to get me to lengthen my penis and have trashy orgasms

aaaah the retarded bathroom escapades! where would we be without them. let’s get on with today’s story, shall we…
As with most bathroom escapades, this one started with me having to pee REALLY BAD!!! I did the quick lock-kneed, clenched butt walk down the hall to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom I had to start the pee dance.
Today’s pee dance required me to lean on my right foot, kick my left leg around and sort of hop while I fumbled frantically with the front of my pants. I tried to gracefully add a hip twist to the dance feeling that the hip twist might help with the pants fumbling.
It didn’t help, but it did cause me to fall down and hit my head on the stall wall leaving it a bit bruised. I am waiting to hear back about worker’s comp!
I fell down in the bathroom because I had to pee.