The convenience will be the death of me.

My wireless card died some many months ago and it was inconvenient. A pain to always be tethered to a physical wire. It was a constant reminder that the laptop was not an extension of me and my mind but that I was extending from it.
The router was in the living room and I was tethered to it by 15 feet of black cat5 cable. No more wandering the house with the laptop, no more checking the email in bed or surfing the web in the bathroom. Sofabound was I.
Then we got a new card. Freedom. The freedom to imprison myself.
I got that card installed and wandered back to the bedroom.
I love my bedroom. I love my bed. Giant king sized bed, giant king sized feather bed on the mattress. The room is finite, it has the comfort of enclosure. The bed is inviting. The dogs love the bed and they love piling on, curling up and passing out with me. They are good dogs. And David! he knows the comfort of the bed, of curling up, of breakfast in bed. He reads to me while I crochet or while I relax.
Eventually, I could find no reason to leave the bedroom. Oh sure, I had to pee and eat, but the bathroom and kitchen were mere steps from the bedroom. I could venture out and return easily. I could leave the house but the more time I spent in the bedroom, the less I could tolerate being away from it. The less I could tolerate communicating with it.
My productivity fell to nothing. No spinning of yarn, no purse making, no practice hat making, nothing of note was produced. Nothing. Projects half finished lay in stasis untouched.
My bedroom became my cave, my cave became my fortress. I defended my fortress. David discovered the impossibility of trying to navigate my defenses. He could try to help, but how do you help a person leave the prison she believes is her only safe place? With patience I suppose and gentle suggestion, with tolerance of the inexplicable mood swings and promises of ice cream.
So, it seems that I have to ask myself “What would Auntie BubboPants say?”. If I got a letter from me, how would I advise me? Pull out the wireless card. Keep it available for when it is necessary, but keep it away from the bedroom. Recognize your limitations and work with them, remove that damned card. When I am tethered to the living room, I can see all the materials for all my projects. My piles of roving, my felty Cthulhu heads, the purses, the patterns for my little 1940’s hats. I feel the inspiration to work and to complete things. To put things out there for sale again. To be part of the world in a small way.
I’m still not using the phone, hopefully soon I will be able to look at it and not see it as some invasive species bent on the destruction of my psyche. God I hate the phone.
Incidentally, I’ve moved Bubbo Designs from Etsy to Artfire (I know I’ve mentioned this before). Go check it out. Purses and roving and yarn and soon hats and more accessories:

Poppy Surprise Power Purse
A Bad Day In Space

4 thoughts on “The convenience will be the death of me.

  1. Oh yes. Yes I too have been a slave to the cave. So happy to see you out of a slump, if it was a slump, or maybe a retreat, but anyway yay.

  2. When I am done with all this convention prep and such you will have to come over to my place for burgers and Boy meeting.
    Just don’t lick him please.

  3. When I was in the cave, I never answered the phone. The ringing of the phone was enough to burst my delicately held bubble of sanity.
    You will get better. Time moves on and you will change even if you don’t want to right now.
    P.S. Expect a package any day now. Heh heh. I said package.

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