Once again it’s time to peruse the search terms that people used to get to my site. For those of you wanting to play along at home, you can click this link and download the pdf.

• Velvet-c There are at least 5 (FIVE) different terms related directly to the name of the site. My favorite is the one that is the ACTUAL URL FOR THE SITE!
• how to stop being an asshole well…hmmmm….I’m not sure you’ll find the road map for that particular journey here, but best of luck to you
• hookah and bacterial infections no idea…I’m not sure that it ever occurred to me that there might be a correlation between hookahs and bacterial infections, but now I’m curious
• FAT LADY UNDERPANTS I don’t know who you are or why you were searching for ‘fat lady underpants’ on Google, but I think it’s fate. Call me, I have what you are looking for.
• secret lives chickens just call me the poultry whisperer.
• chukity fair enough, it’s a word on the site. It’s also a word I completely made up one day.
• abnormally small feet this is where I get confused. On one hand, sure I have abnormally small feet, on the other hand, my website isn’t really set up to handle the needs of the niche fetishist.
• cerebellum sore GO. TO. THE. DOCTOR.
• doyenne I had a day where the word was stuck in my head AND it was the word of the day AND that was the day i learned what it meant.
• maddie, chester, ghengis someone looking for my dogs. Who’s stalking my dogs?
• methods of euthenasia (sic) once again, speechless
• give me $1000 now YEAH! YEAH! I don’t know, but…yeah? Who demands money from a search engine? why were they sent to me?
• twain upholstered sewer indeed
• yeast infection dog ate dough go to the vet or take a basic biology course.
• lysol dainty for a petite clean?
• will vistaril hurt me yes. yes it will. it will punch you so hard that you will puke yesterday’s lunch all the way into next week (also it will make you sleep for like 18 hours straight)

This is just a sample of the search results for the first half of August. A quick glance at July’s entire list gives us such gems as: alaska boobs, finger up her butt, pendulous boobs, sinus maximilaris, kerri miller adult playful, desperately needing to pee, www.mightycock.?, smelly ungulate, fucking on bingo, 5-hooks bra, my pendulous breasts, sour cherries and intestinal distress, pact with baphomet, novelty vibrator guard, naked ladies in sweaters, sesame oil latex condom safe…
and my personal favorite…
pilgrims on pills
Ah yes, remember the good olde dayes when Goody Proctor and Goody Hawkins got alle hopped up on ye olde goofballes and did runneth thru the goode towne square withoute compliment of clothes?