The hippo has fangs

A few years ago David bought for me a handmade leather hippo from the French Market in New Orleans as a Christmas present. He bought it the day before I flew down to meet him there. When I got there he took me to the French Market for some shopping or whatnot and INSTANTLY I saw the table with the hippos! I fondled and caressed them, I engaged in bad touch. I really wanted one. In some inexplicable moment of magic (responsibility), I decided that with all I’d spent on Christmas and flying to NOLA and upcoming expenses, I would forgo the awesome hippo.
Of course, a couple days later I unwrapped the hippo that David had already bought for me. We’d only been dating a few months at the time, but it was pretty much the sign I needed.
I have 3 hippos on the end table next to the sofa, he’s the biggest. He’s all lovely and handcrafted and everything, but his teeth…not so right. The teeth are just very cheap plastic and they are shaped like fangs or sabers. They’re insane, they are not hippo teeth in the least. They are completely wrong,, but somehow, completely perfect in their awesomeness.
In completely unrelated news…
I wrote up my first real pattern (a cowl) and sent it off to pattern testers. Pattern testers will save your life. They all found the same giant mistake! They also gave some really valuable feedback on the project and gave me more confidence. I will have the pattern available for download in a couple weeks. If you would like me to make one for you I’ve settled on $30 plus materials.
Speaking of…
A coworker saw me wearing one of my awesome pirate skull hats and told me her grandson would like one (she’s done this before to me). I offered her the pattern, she asked if I could make one. I said I could but it would probably be $15-20 plus materials. She tsk-tsk’d me and said “oh come on”. This is something that I find HIGHLY IRRITATING. She’s a knitter, she is aware of how much time and effort goes into a project. This is a custom/adapted pattern (adapted from knit to crochet and then broken down and rebuilt to be shaped differently) and it is hand made. I was being generous at $15-20. $35 to $40 would not be outside the realm of reasonable for the item. Yes, yes you can buy a winter hat for cheaper, but I am not competing with machine made store bought hats. It’s an entirely different product, sure, both keep your head warm, but they are not the same.
I do not make these items in exchange for money to support myself, so I do not have to be competitive. I do not have to undercut myself in order to sell. I do not have to hire chinese orphans in order to stay in business. I make my items and price them according to what my time is actually worth to me, not the ‘market’. Someone either appreciates the item or doesn’t.
Of course if I was trying to make a living selling them, then it would all be polluted factories and orphan slave labor and a document titled “basic human rights” that I would pee all over. To listen to any corporation talk, this is the only way they can survive! It seems they are always on the verge of going under! Without their billions in profits they’d go out of business! Thank god for orphan slave labor to keep our struggling economy afloat.
Am I a little skeptical of the motivations of big business? yeah, sometimes.
My kitchen is still clean, my living room is clean but not entirely organized, the dining room is halfway there and the bathroom is next.
we got a new water heater the other day! We also got a gas leak from it but they came out and fixed it right away. That was pretty good. No one died.
By the way…
Which one of you recommended I watch “Year of the Dog”? Because I would like to kick you in the knees. First, I really did not need to see a movie about a dog dying. Secondly, the rest of the movie? insane! I only watched about the first half hour, David watched the rest. BAD PERSON!!! Do not recommend these things to me!
And I’m…
off like your mom’s prom dress. Awesome? like a 12 pound possum.

10 thoughts on “The hippo has fangs

  1. I didn’t recommend it, but I did watch Year of the Dog. I cried so hard when that little dog died.
    Of course, I also cried over a Pedigree dog food commercial last night (the shelter one), so it could just be that I’m a sucker for dogs.

  2. Heather got me the Casio calculator watch I hadn’t previously considered. It was pretty much the … “sign” that I needed.

  3. If somebody got me a stuffed hippo I’d beat them.
    Also, they’re supposed to test for gas leaks when they mess with the gas lines.

  4. I bawled and bawled when the little beagle died. I love beagles! Beagles are so so cute. Please do not ever think that I want to see a movie with a little dog dying.

  5. I talked to my plumber/HVAC guy at work, he does a lot of stuff with gas lines. He said that it is really common for gas leaks not to show up right away. The teflon paste used to connect the pipes might have a weak spot that won’t become apparent until the pressure in the line builds and that can take a number of hours. So he assured me that it wasn’t necessarily the installers being dumb. I had this happen once before, I had a gas line run to my kitchen and at the join with the main they had a small leak. wooo.

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