What did we do on our Friday night?
We bought a bottle of cheap red wine, burritos from Pineda (I got the chili verde burrito, possibly the best burrito in the world) and we came home and watched a documentary about the factors that contribute to the successes of certain ancient peoples. A documentary that I bumped up to the top of my netflix queue because I really wanted to see it.
You may THINK your parties and orgies and plays and dinners out with friends are where it’s at, but you are wrong!
Did I mention that I was not wearing pants? it was hot.

Reason #557 why I would make a terrible parent

Over the summer we have a number of programs running on campus to teach art to all kinds of kids. We have programs for little kids, programs for tweens and of course programs for late teens eager to get away from home and smoke and drink and have sex as soon as possible.
So we have lots of kids running around in various areas.
The other day a contractor came in to say he had walked into one of the restrooms to find a bunch of kids playing in there. One kid was standing IN A TOILET, and another kid had apparently taken a dump in another toilet and a third kid was standing ON the toilet trying to push the turd around with his foot.
Understandably, all the adults were upset and calls were made to various department heads and requests to watch the kids more closely were issued.
Me? I just laughed and laughed and laughed. I could think of nothing more awesome than the thought process of a 6 year old boy. You could ask those kids why they were doing what they were doing and they couldn’t answer you, I honestly don’t think they know, but let me tell you something, I wanna understand everything that goes into the decision to stand in a toilet. Where does that come from? I bet it’s funnier than hell. Standing IN A TOILET! Pushing a turd with your shoe! whatever. These kids are my new heroes. I don’t want to do these things, I’ve grown past the 6 year old stage, but what a fantastic place to be in.
How marvelous to still exist in a world where standing in a toilet is a correct and viable option.


Okay, so what happens when your dog eats over a pound of roasted, salted virginia peanuts?
More specifically, What happens when your dog knows that he is not supposed to be eating the peanuts, that he should not have grabbed the bag off the table and brought it to the bed? He knows he’s not supposed to do this, he knows that if he is seen he will be in trouble? He knows that if he eats quickly the likelihood of being seen is lessened. Eating quickly means that he will have to give up things like chewing.
So, what happens when a little dogs eats more than a pound of peanuts without chewing? You don’t want to know. Really you don’t. You think you are disturbed by corn and carrots? You stop by and check out Senor Clowns Special Fountain Of Peanutty Goodness sponsored by the good folks that fill the bulk bin at the grocery store.
When I did find the peanut bag on the bed I figured it was Maddie, that she had found them while we were out earlier in the evening. I showed the bag to her and all she did was snuffle it. Curious. I showed it to Chester and looked away, wagged his tail like a furious helicopter, laid down, scooted away, came back, rolled over, looked away again, and then went completely belly up. Dogs are so easy. They are so incapable of lying. This makes them 10 times easier than kids.