I could write about 2 things
1) an amusing story with sound effects involving: dogs, vomit, great arcs, hair, my toes, and a pig ear
2) David’s birthday
As much as I would like to tell you the dog vomit story, I will be kind and only share it with a few people. It’s very funny, but also extremely gross. So, on to David’s birthday.
On Monday David turned 33. For 3 months out of the year we are the same age, then I have my birthday and I am older than him again and I get to feel like a super pervert. Hot. (not as much as April and her boyfriend, that place is like perversion central!). Super.
David is way hard to buy for. The best rule I’ve come up with is get him either something edible or get him something practical and useful. Fine. So, the dogs got him a big thing of roasted peanuts, sour gummy worms and Jelly Bellies (I love to pretend like the dogs got him a present because it makes me sound like one of those women pushing middle age without children who is funneling all the maternal instinct into her pets…oh…wait…yeah, never mind). I got him a new cordless phone and the Trojan Pleasure Pack condom set (practical and useful!).
I wanted to take him out to dinner. Some place nice and quiet and not too expensive and not loud and full of hipsters and with good food. A long time ago I read a review of a place in my neighborhood that sounded perfect but I couldn’t remember the name of the place. So I tried looking it up. I knew it was something seemingly mundane like Lunch Box or TV Tray. I knew I wanted to go there. I spent the better aprt of the day utilizing my search skills and asking friends and digging everywhere. Finally, I dug deep enough and found it. Hot Plate! The place is called Hot Plate. The place also does breakfast, brunch and lunch but no dinner. So I worked really hard to find myself back where I started.
More and more research. Finally I settled on Broders for the After 8 Special. It was perfect, it was exactly what I was going for. Quiet, good food, romantic. AND the poor man’s Matthew Broderick sat us! It was uncanny how much he looked like a cheap clone of Ferris Bueller. I totally wanted to go “Bueller….Bueller….Bueller” at him, but I am aware that just because you think someone looks like a famous celebrity doesn’t mean they recognize this in themselves (I do not fucking look like John Denver). We also had the Bargain Basement Hurley at the table next to us. He was sunny but a little nervous and the chica he was with was way annoying.
I need to stop watching people when I eat.
Anyway, this is my big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to David. I am so thrilled to have him in my life, he is a constant source of comfort, amazement and joy.