oh sweet, merciful Jesus, I want to thank you! I want to tell you how grateful I am that you blessed me with abnormally small feet. Today at the shoe store I found a pair of Diesel shoes that I loved so much I wanted to hump them, unfortunately, no hump is worth $90. On the other hand, in the kid’s section they were on sale for $35.
Oh, beautiful savior, I can not thank you enough.
but it doesn’t end there…you had my back all day! I was foolish enough to buy pants without trying them on and had to exchange them. Easy enough? Sure, but when you are at my side, it becomes a blessed event. The pants went on sale between yesterday and today so in the exchange they refunded the difference allowing me to buy a 3rd pair of pants for more than half off. Hell yeah!
AND AND AND!!! The 12 inch Calphalon Everyday pan normally sells for $150. Somehow, I managed to lose mine and have always wanted to replace it. Amazon got your divine message and sold the pan to me for $25.
Sweet son of god! Thank you for indulging me this week. I hate to ask you for one more favor but if you could see it in your heart to smite all self righteous former smokers who get all uppity, I’d be way appreciative.