I have eternal car paranoia. The faintest sound or smell or bump sends me into an internal panic. Part of this is the earlier-mentioned lack of confidence problem I have, I’m convinced I made a totally retarded decision in my car. Logically, there’s no reason to believe that I chose a bad car and in fact most signs point to a good car. It was a bit of an impulse buy, i was looking to offload my Saab, with its dead turbo and shot suspension, so I sat down one afternoon and decided “I’m going to go buy a car” and within the week I had my car. I didn’t really tell anyone that I was going to buy a car because I knew I’d get a lot of advice that I didn’t want to hear, “get a car that is bland but reliable!” “get a car that filters pollution out of one gallon of ocean water for every mile you drive!” “Buy my uncle’s car! It mostly doesn’t smell anymore!”. Also, I didn’t want anyone to talk me out of my dream car should I have a chance to buy one cheap (i didn’t but there’s still hope).
I did my research and found the car with the options I wanted, in my price range, good mileage blah blah blah and bought it that day. Again, I didn’t consult anyone because I wanted to prove that i could actually do this by myself. It seems like a good plan, but if you are me you are then stuck worrying for the rest of the time you own the car that something will go wrong and it will be your fault for not asking someone smarter than you to approve your decision and when people see what a huge car-related mistake you made they’ll all be there to say “you bought a stupid car because you are a stupid person and you do stupid things!”
ANYWAY, this is all coming up because on the drive home today I started to smell the bad burninating car smell. All the way down Portland Ave I was freaking out about the burning car smell. The gauges were all in their happy normal ranges, nothing was really happening, but there was the burning car smell. Fuck, what if the engine was catching on fire? then I’d be a stupid person with a stupid burned out car!!
Then the car in front of me turned onto 40th Street and by the time I hit my turn on 42nd Street the smell was gone. My car was not burning up! The white cavalier was burning up! Good for them, I hope it goes well for them, the burning up and all.
Phew.
The funniest sad thing ever is when Maddie decides to chew on Ghengis’ rawhide and no amount of pushing her with his nose will get her attention and so he is left to put his nose on the floor and make the sad honking noises he makes. His other option would be to go get any one of the 500 other rawhides he has laying around and chew on that.
Although it seems he has chosen plan ‘C’: chew the tag out of my jean jacket.
Also, today, the dogs decided to enjoy the better part of a 1 pound block of Callebaut dark chocolate. Assnuggets.
My health is returning slowly, but the snot only shows minimal signs of abating. I was moderately useful at work today which is pretty damned good if you ask me.
Cold windy rainy day with the threat of snow overnight. Tomorrow I will be the short one on the corner screaming “FUCK YOU” at the sky.