One of the worst tragedies in life is to lose someone close to you, to have part of your heart rent from your thoracic cavity.
One such recent loss for me recently was when public safety officer Ron left MCAD. Ron was a stand up guy with eerily straight teeth. We spent our fridays fucking around and doing no work at all. Ron was good for a laugh, occasionally producing one that was not at his own expense.
The problem was, Ron thought he was too good for us here at the school and decided (yet again) to strike out for bigger and better things. Ron’s now directing traffic during rush hour and covering shifts at the school since it took less than 8 hours for him to realize he’d never cut it as a private dick.
Welcome back, Ron! Thanks for sliding that missing piece back into my heart.
Now can I go get burritos? I’m hungry

THIS is actually the funniest thing from today:
“I:m not homophobic I*m drunk”
And there you have it, folks.

“I’m bored and excessively um…’agitated’…in my swimsuit area”
The world is a crazy place, people. Stop juggernauting once in a while find a little mirth at the side of the road.

I am the most charming person you will ever meet. Seriously. You will never meet a more gracious and charming person than me!
People are charmed by me.
I charm people
I am charming.
Also, Jason is the awesomest guy in any room.