To Ponder a 60 Pound Watermelon

A coworker came into my office with a larger than usual (but not giant) Gladware full of chopped up watermelon. Seems someone in another department had gotten a 60 pound watermelon, discovered she could not eat it and started distributing it.
1) who buys a 60 pound watermelon? More importantly, what is the thought process behind purchasing a 60 pound watermelon? How is it that you are surprised that you cannot consume a 60 pound watermelon?
2) 60 pounds, that’s like the size of a 3rd grader, right? Is it wrong to purchase foodstuffs in sizes comparable to our elementary school students?
3) Who grew this watermelon? Did they decide to gorw a large watermelon? did they arrive at 60 pounds for a reason or did they just have an idea of a general size, and it happened to weigh 60 pounds?
4) What makes a watermelon get to 60 pounds? Aliens? Miracle Grow? The gift of everlasting salvation from jesus? Do I want to consume any of these things?
5) I’ve never been one to buy into the theory that a seed consumed will cause a plant to grow in my abdomen. I am aware of diverticulitis, however. I still consume the seeds of the watermelon as I feel that with the remarkable advances of science, diverticulitis can be cured quickly and easily.
6) If carefully carved and emptied, could the shell of a 60 pound watermelon be transformed into an eco-friendly ‘soap-box’ derby racer? Would you get a smaller 2nd grader to act as your pilot?