The need for the junk burns brightly in my veins

It’s official, I am readdicted to caffeine. I always give it up, and like a junk-sick loser, I always come crawling back for more.
I was clean for 2 years this last time. I was having trouble sleeping, so I cut out the morning coffee and the three iced teas over lunch, then realized I still wasn’t sleeping. I quit my job, that worked. I stayed so clean.
When I’m not on caffeine, I am a self-righteous bastard. Everyone who knows me can confirm this tidbit. People mention their beverage choices and I get to throw in something like “Oh yeah, I don’t really drink caffeine anymore. It’s not good for you”. People have a real reason to hate me.
But if you guys think I am bad when I am off the caffeine, I am so much worse on it. I don’t sleep well, my temper flares, my cramps get worse. I have crave headaches. And I hate you all for being you. I’m far worse than any junkie because you can’t hold an intervention for me, you can’t have me declared incompetent and force me into a 48 hour observation at the municipal mental health facility of your choice. All you can do is sit back and weep as I mix up a triple shot latte in the kitchen and sneer at you as I gulp it down.
So much blame to pass around. First, I’ll give a little to the fine Vietnamese restaurants all around work. The food is good, but the sweetened Vietnamese coffee called my name and won’t let go of my heart. I also blame SuperTarget. Their ultra-convenience didn’t end at having bathtowels near the eggs, they had to include a Starbucks in the mix. So very nice to drink a coffee to quell my appetite and prevent me from buying a mega-size pack of corn dogs to be eaten at my leisure. One would argue that SuperTarget also has a D’Amico deli counter, and they don’t see me freaking for the antipasto. Well I have one really good retort for that argument: Shut the hell up! If I wanted your opinion I would have picked up the phone and dialed 1-800-MY-OWN-ASS and listened quietly.
Maybe I should cut down.