a conversation with a coworker last week on the questionable parking choice made by a 3rd coworker
Her: I don’t really think that’s a parking spot
Me: yeah, but neither is your mom’s face…you don’t hear me complaining
Her: What?

Paraphrasing David:
“Terrorists always attack regular people and yet the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding goes off without a hitch”

David is in the kitchen cooking something. I don’t know what it is.
“Oh man, you’re going to burn your underwear and move back to japan when you taste what I am making”
I’m not sure what that means, but I’m not wearing underwear.

David is rubbing maddie’s head, “Maddie, you have a soft head today” and she responds with a lovely high-pitched whistly fart.

pointless conversations
coworker: you have flowers on your underpants
me: I know
cw: I can see them
me: i’m sure
cw: doesn’t that bother you, why did you wear them with those pants?
me: no, it doesn’t bother me, what really bothers me is that I haven’t done laundry in forever