I came to work to find a GIANT bouquet of flowers on my desk AND in my boss’ office a giant gift bag crammed full of candy!! It was Administrative Professionals Day!! (aka secretary’s day…except I’m not a secretary…secretaries do not sit in 2 hour meetings trying to get the ACTUAL GODDAMNED NUMBERS FOR THE GODDAMNED $16 MILLION CONSTRUCTION PROJECTS. oh, yeah, and a secretary does not make excel play bitch for her…’who’s gonna map utility usage in the dorms for the last five years?? oh you are! yes you are because you are my bitch and I want a pivot table!!’ My job…kinda sexy). I thanked my boss profusely, then I told him to please thank his lovely wife as it was she who remembered and she who purchased all the gifts. She’s pretty good about these things.
THEN I emailed all the other admin assistants and told them to bring their bosses by so that the bosses could feel the shame of not being as awesome as my boss.
THEN I calculated the difference between our previous contract with the electric company and our current contract. Seems we’re not getting the deal we were promised. I called a maintenance supply company and told them to stop faxing to my goddamned phone! and then I sent contracts to the landscaping people and the real estate consultants. Sexy? YEAH!
THEN Anna showed up and we went to Wench where we discussed her sister, how to make seitan, the awesomeness of the dog park, the creepy people of the world and then I think I told her I was going to stick her in a shiny little box and carry her over my head while singing to her. She did not appreciate that. But then I told her about the time that I realized my bread machine looked like rocketmoonship and I put that on my head and ran around pretending to be a rocket. She appreciated that quite a bit more.
THEN back at work I explained to my boss that I had wanted Thursday off so I could do shiny sunshine things but it was going to be rainy and I had to be at work on Friday because it’s the only day my assistant can be in for the pay period and she can’t be there if I am not there so could I take the rest of the day off? YES! So I popped a giant orange gumball and left and drove home listening to Neal Conan be terse with callers that don’t get to the point.
THEN I bit the underside of my tongue (don’t ask)
THEN I took the dogs to the dog park! I like going to the dog park during the day, it’s quieter, more relaxing. There aren’t as many dogs, but there are some and the dogs had fun. And I stood in the sun for an hour.
Then I worked on a lace design (yay)
THEN David brought veggie burgers and beer and we sat out on the front steps and watched the sun set with the dogs and the beer.
NOW we are watching a movie and I am going to work on my project for the Pants Charity Bonanza!

I know I owe the rest of the story about the yarn fest and all that. I’m getting there! I’ve been busy!
1) Working on the Bubbo Designs website. Trying to get the first few patterns and tutorials written up so I will have some actual content when I go live.
1a) I am deeply and madly in love with Anna and her mad dinosaur design skillz
2) Spending a lot of time researching ADM, Monsanto and high fructose corn syrup. It’s like I do this on purpose to get myself all riled up! You know how I get really angry at quantum physics? This is worse.
2a) Finally had to stop eating meat. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I cannot contribute to a system that makes a profit by abusing animals. Factory farming and feedlots are shameful.
2b) I’ll still eat meat at your house, I am the most pleasant house guest ever.
2c) I’m cool with happy, pasture raised meat, but it’s hard to source your meat so I am just avoiding it all together.
3) I’ve started an advice column on Ravelry. It’s a weekly column and I think it’s doing well
3a) I’ve also started a ravelry group in my pants. This group leaves me little to no time for anything else on ravelry.
3b) I also dispense advice in the group
3c) I am also their public confessor. I listen to them and assign ways for them to absolve themselves
3d) I also have to assign a different task to each new member. It is not easy coming up with unique tasks for all of them.
3e) I adore all the people in my pants
4) my car was dangerously low on gas this morning but I did not have time to stop and get gas so I put some of the lawnmower gas in my car, you know, the stuff in the red jug. I’m not sure where that puts me on the clever/retarded/lazy spectrum. I got gas after work.
5) I Am Legend was really kind of scary.
6) I’m working hard to deal with the behavior of another person. It isn’t something that affects me, but I find the implications about their personality very upsetting.
7) For a while now I have been working on learning the Noble Eightfold Path. I am not a spiritual person and I am not doing this because I am buddhist or anything like that. I’m just trying to be less of an asshole. I want to limit my impact on the world and on the people around me and on the space I fill. I very much want any impact I leave to be positive or at least neutral. So in some ways it’s a way for me to really think about how my actions affect far reaching things, like the meat issue. If I buy meat from a place that abuses the animals in a horrific way, then I am supporting that idea and that activity.
The Right Thought and Right Intention steps are very good for me. I try not to judge people (except for ADM and Monsanto), I try to think through my actions, I try to remind myself of the good in people.
I like the Eightfold Path because it isn’t a do or die thing. It’s not a pass/fail. you just continue to work on it every day. you learn from the effort, not the final result.
8) blah blah blah I talk too much about stuff
9) I know you guys like when Chester posts, but he scratches up my keyboard and gets dog hair everywhere.