At the end of the year I like to do one of those retrospective posts wherein I recap the previous year’s events. I talk about what I gained and lost, what I learned and what i fucked up.
These things usually take me a couple of weeks worth of pondering and then a couple days worth of actual research as I go through the website rereading things and then through other documents and notes and bits of writing that I have here and there.
One common theme that came up was that 2006 was a very hard year for me. My depression and anxiety got the better of me, I made some bad decisions, some things happened that I had no control over. I lost my Ghengis.
I have a list next to me, a whole sheet of paper covered in scribbled notes where I tried to make sense of the year and put it into a coherent bit of writing. In rereading my posts and going over my memories for the year, one moment stuck with me, a bright, shiny moment that I think umbrellas everything.
In July I flew down to meet David in New Orleans. He’d already been there for a few weeks and we missed each other terribly. On my last day there we took the ferry out to Ship Island and went swimming in the gulf. It was amazing for me, porpoises swimming within reach. Jellyfish, crabs and stripey fish hanging out with us. After we got in the water a lightning storm started to roll in. It was close enough to scare everyone else out of the water but not so close that we were in danger. David and I were alone in the gulf, swimming during a lightning storm.
As we were swimmming, David put his arms around me and floated me on my back as he swam around. I did not even notice at first, it was such a subtle move. I found myself completely relaxed in his arms, floating on the surface of the water, watching the lightning in the near distance. I had to put forth no effort to keep my head above the waves, I just floated there in the safety of his arms as we went here and there in the water. The whole time he talked to me, sang to me and made me smile.
And that was David this entire year. For no matter what happened, he quickly and quietly put his arms around me and held me above water. Not just to keep me safe from the waves, but to allow me the chance to relax. For all of the times that I have been upset or hurt, he was there to hold me. For all of the times I was celebrating, enjoying myself or experiencing sheer joy, he was there with me. When I was floundering or in need or lost, he was next to me. He boosted my confidence, he supported my decisions and he stood by me when I failed.
So many things happened in 2006, good, bad and ugly. For every thing that happened, David was there.
2006 is the year that David held me and I could not be more grateful.
“…that was a hard year but it passed on like all the rest.”
Grandma Moses – “My Life’s History”
Category Archives: Blab
what the hell does this mean?
So, a few years ago I was wondering if I might like flannel sheets. On one hand it seemed like a nice, cozy idea for Minnesota winters, on the other hand, they might be too hot for this girl who occasionally turns into a little furnace at night.
Target had some flannel sheets on super clearance and it was decided that this was the best way to find out. I could get the warm, flannel sheets and if I did not liek them then I would not be out a lot of money. Turns out I did like having the flannel sheets in the winter, they were snuggly and warm and very comfortable. They unfortunate side, though, was that they really only put the sheets that no one likes on ultra clearance. If people liked them, then they would sell and would not need to go on ultra clearance. These sheets are ugly as hell. Bad pea soup green with ducks, duck hunters and hunting dogs splattered across in some incredibly ugly motif. These are the kind of sheets an autistic hunter would love.
They’re ugly as hell.
What does it mean that I saw those same exact sheets used on the set of internet porn? What is the world coming to when production values at porn houses fall to cheap clearance bedding that looks awful on camera. What does it say about me that I share this in common with them?
It’s the king!
We did Christmas dinner at my sister’s and it was a lovely time. My sister puts on a lovely feast. Potato souffle’, green beans with herbs de provence and ham…HAM! the king of the pink meats!
April’s special guy cemented his status as “good enough for my sister” by putting away the Skyy and breaking out the Ketel One for me. He also kept mixing me vodka tonics all night long. I lost count at 5, it may have been as many as 7. I’m just not sure.
We ate, we talked, we caught up on happenings, we wiggled in and out of those uncomfortable family conversations and we generally had a good time. Didn’t get home until after midnight and it was only with considerable effort on my sister’s part to kick our asses out of there.
(note to April, if you want to get rid of us, don’t bust out the good stuff…a bottle of Stoli would have had my out of there by 8! no lie!)
I also had a major envy moment when my sister came up in a pair of flannel jammies with santa lobsters all over them. I want those!
My uncle Russell and Aunt Carol are in town with their girls, Emily and Rosalie and they will be heading over this afternoon to see the dogs, harass the lizards and visit. I’m really looking forward to this, but I really need to get this place cleaned up. I also need to get some leftover ham into me!
Also, David is playing his guitar and the speaker is next to my head and I get to play with the settings. Guitar on phaser…pretty sweet.
Happy happy delicious christmas
Happy happy christmas to you all!
Last night we spent Christmas Eve at my dad’s. Since Anna was unable to make it home for the holidays we brought her along. We spent the evening eating, drinking, laughing and telling tales. Poor Anna, she thought I was just some sort of anomaly, a strange imp placed on this earth specificallyto torture her.
Once again, she learned that I came from a family, one that I get along well with. One that will work with me on my mission to corrupt and torture. Or, if not to work with me, at least not hinder me.
Last night I brought two dishes to dinner, my Chai Spiced Rice Pudding and a roasted winter vegetable dish. The pudding was a tad undercooked and I was sad about that but it tasted fine. The vegetables were a big hit
Sweet Roasted Winter Vegetable
1 large sweet potato, chopped
1 small butternut squash, peeled, seeded and chopped
1/2 head cauliflower broken into large florets
1 apple, cored and chopped (it should have been 2 apples, but one was rotten in the middle)
1 head of radicchio, quartered, cored and seperated
1 cup baby carrots
1/2 rutabaga, peeled and chunked
1 head of garlic, cloves peeled and separated but left whole
3 tbl butter
1 tbl olive oil
1 tbl rubbed sage
2 tbl curry powder
Oil the bottom of a large roasting pan, dump in veggies. Liberally salt and pepper vegetables.
In a small saute pan, melt butter into olive oil until foamy. Add sage and mix. Add curry powder and mix. Drizzle butter mixture over vegetables and mix to coat.
Roast at 300 for 2 hours, mixing at least once. The long low roasting allows the natural sugars in the vegetables to concetrate. The whole cloves of garlic practically turn caramelly.
Right now I have a pumpkin cheesecake in the oven. It got in there late and this means I will be late to my sister’s and i pray she forgives me!
And on a sad note, this is my Christmas without Ghengis. Last night, at my dad’s, we laughed and shared stories and I was only happy to remember him racing around my dad’s back yard harassing the cat, or sleeping under my feet as we picnicked in the gazebo. Today I am reminded that he only got two Christmases. Only two chances to rip open wrapping paper, to maul a new toy, to fall asleep on a newly eviscerated teddy bear or dinosaur.
Merry Christmas to all of you. Go now, find the ones you love and hold them tight.
and I don’t go back!
Today was the last day of work until the 2nd of January. Hooray for working at a school. We did the usual pizza party, cookie eating, “see you next year” song and dance. It was good in a predictable way.
We finally got the snow we’d been waiting for all winter (and by ‘we’ I mean everyone else, I can do just fine without it). Thank god for traction control! My car may be big but it’s built like a fucking tank, I got no fear in the winter with that thing.
This is the first year in a long time that I just don’t have any plans for the holiday break. We aren’t going to New Orleans, I’m not hosting anything, just a lot of quiet, some cleaning, some jam making, some crocheting, some bread making and some time with the dogs.
David, being the sweetest guy ever, just called me for dinner, so it’s off for me.
(I promise to write something more interesting later)