Every once in a while the more adult like people around me realize that maybe putting some boundaries on me would be a good idea. Last night David suggested that perhaps I should not have ice cream until AFTER I ate a nutricious and balanced dinner. He also pointed out that ice cream, in and of itself is not a nutricious balanced meal and that I could not substitute ice cream for dinner.
He thought that maybe a good rule would be “eat dinner first, have ice cream after”
I suggested that a better rule might be “heather can have ice cream”
He said that technically, that was not a rule. I said that technically, I did not care. I thought it was a perfectly cromulent rule.
We also had a debate about what constituted an appropriate serving size of ice cream. I felt that since there was nothing mentioned in the rule “heather can have ice cream” regarding the amount of ice cream that the framers of the rule felt it was my right to eat as much ice cream as I wanted. We might have to take this to the supreme court.
Unfortunately, I think that the Supreme Court in my house is populated by dogs. Dammit.
Today is my Friday! It’s like I’m writing to you from the future! Sometimes you just need a day off to buy shell fish for Easter Paella, eat at the Guyanese restaurant and generally swing your butt around.

Date night monday night. It was cute and fun. The Birchwood was doing half priced bottle of wine night (making the bottles of wine only double the cost!) so we cozied up, split a bottle of wine, a salad and the cheese plate.
Being the über-romantics that we are, we headed to the grocery store in all our tipsy glory to buy things like ham, cheetohs, ice cream, lettuce and cilantro. I also got me a bubble gum ball on the way out.
Back at home we put the groceries away and David went to take the dogs out. Before he left he handed me a bottle of wine off the rack and told me to see if I could get it open. Now, had I not already consumed half a bottle I would have said something responsible like “dude, it’s after 10 and I have to work in the morning”, but I didn’t.
Now, I am sitting at my desk in a haze. We got to sleep after 3am and it was fitful, wine fueled sleep. David is on spring break this week and does not have to work. He very very sweetly got up with me this morning, made my coffee, got my clothes ready and made sure I didn’t fall asleep in the tub. He even got me out the door on time. I can’t even get myself out the door on time when I’m not exhausted and sleepy. Luckily I don’t have a hangover or anything.
on a side note, i’m entirely too pissed off at food companies that decide to package their food in smaller and smaller packages. It’s rare to get a half gallon of ice cream anymore, now it is 1.75 quarts. A 5 pound bag of sugar has been downsized to 4 pounds and I even saw a “2 litre” bottle of soda at the store that looked suspiciously small, it was 1.5 litres. It’s not like they’re selling it for any cheaper. assholes.

My food issues of the previous entry have been abating in some way, which is a relief. I adore and love food and I hated the idea that I might have to subsist on a diet limited to yogurt, caramel malts and oatmeal with so much milk added that it was more like soup.
Thursday night I had to pick up David after work in northeast Minneapolis because of a bus aid scheduling something or other. We were up on Central ave, one of the best kept secrets in town. On Central ave you can eat food from all over the globe. There’s not just mexican food but authentic food from the state of Chiapas, there’s Ecuadorian, African, Indian cuisines from various states in India, Middle Eastern, Ukrainian….everything. We decided to get a quick dinner before he had to head out to teach his class and I was feeling optimistically hungry. We wandered a few blocks and weighed our options. The Chiapas place seemed inviting, but we do eat a good deal of authentic mexican as it is and the special was pork in chili verde which I almost always get and we needed to eat something new. A little more wandering brought us to Crscent Moon, the Afghani bakery/coffee shop/restaurant.
I had spent a week unable to eat anything more solid than water and I decided to make my first real excursion into the world of solid food by eating the food from a nation with a history that includes nothing but violence, anger and hostile takeovers. From Alexander the Great to the Soviets to whatever the fuck is going on there now, these are not a people with a rich history of trust falls and campfire sing alongs. Hell, considering the paintings on the walls of the restaurant, i’m led to believe that the national past time is a sport wherein many men get on horses and ride around and whip each other and slap each other in the face. The winnder is determined not by who slapped the most people or who rode the fastest, but the winner is usually whoever ended up invading the country while they were busy slapping each other.
I really want to make some joke about invading my dinner or being invaded by my dinner, but….i’m really NOT that painfully lame.
We perused the menu, I got me some lamb kourma and a sheer chai. I’d never had Afghani food, so I was not entirely sure what to think. First off, I wet myself twice at the chai. It was so loaded with cardamom I about died and went to Afghani heaven (which I am sure I would not be allowed into on account of all my evil ways). I’m a little cardamom whore. I’d be okay with only ever drinking that chai for the rest of my life. When we got our dinner I died all over again. Afghani food seems to be the much loved offspring of Indian and Middle Eastern cuisines. I was able to eat a little less than half my meal before being overwhelmed by the urge to spit, shit, vomit and die.
All in all, it was the most I’d been able to eat in a week and I was thrilled.
I jumped back in the eating game in the most horrific way
Friday: 2 servings of lasagna, salad and bread along with cake at the SMT volunteer thank you dinner that I went to as David’s guest
Saturday: an entire cantaloupe for breakfast and pizza rolls for dinner
Sunday: a giant breakfast of eggs, potatoes, sausage, toast and a pancake and then 1/2 pund of carrots for dinner.
I’m back in the game and ready to put on 20 pounds!

A while back I mentioned that I had taken the great leap into that standard middle america pool called “brain pill central“. I’ve not mentioned much about it, it’s really more of a struggle than I ever imagined it would be.
I pretty much expected 1 maybe 2 tries and we’d find the pill and I’d take the pills and it would be sunshine and ladybugs and regular vacuuming. Doesn’t work like that.
Anyway, this isn’t about my brain, but the side effects.
I’m currently on Effexor at 225 mg a day.
I have a hell of a time eating. Sometimes I start to eat but the feeling of food in my mouth becomes repulsive. Sometimes I eat a lot because it’s okay. Yesterday I ate 2 fat/sugar free yogurts and a banana (though I almost lost the banana when I smelled the peel taking a bite). Today I ate a yogurt and most of a scone, feeling lucky I ate a cookie and a piece of licorice. I think the cookie was fine, but the licorice was a mistake.
It wasn’t regular licorice it was this awful Danish licorice that didn’t taste like licorice but like someone managed to distill twelve pounds of ass into one tiny niblet. Now all I want to do is puke everywhere. This is awful. I want to go fetal and grab my belly and die.
I was actually feeling optimistic this morning after the scone. Tonight I am going to my dad’s to crochet with my stepmom. She’s making meatloaf tonight. I’ve been craving meatloaf forever and finally I am going to get it and I might not be able to eat. fuck.
On the other hand, I might actually lose some weight! I guess there’s a bright side to everything.
In brighter news, I finally found a crocheted hoodie pattern and a template for making sweaters that shows you how to calculate in variables like body size, yarn, stitch and hook. I’ll be making lots of sweaters!

1) some jackass used my phone over the weekend while wearing a thick, gluey paste of cologne. Everything at my desk reeks of cheap, drugstore cologne. It’s giving me a headache and making my belly woogly
2) it is 77 degrees and sunny
3) my boss is not here all week
I AM STILL AT WORK
Seriously, what’s wrong with me? I should have left around 9:15 this morning. I should have come in, looked around for 12 seconds and then left. I’m sitting here advising every other person I know to have a meeting “off campus”. Is it loyalty to my job? Laziness to the point of not being able to stand up and leave? Stupidity?
I don’t know.