So here it is on the cusp of a new year and you find that you can’t choose between ‘The Real Men of Precinct 109’ calendar and the free calendar that your aunt picked up at the bank. Well look no further than creamedpeas!!! This beautiful full color calendar is just waiting for you. Twelve beautiful months and brand new holidays, one for every day.
Print this up or order one for you and your friends. I even have some artwork in there, hooray ME!

Having your car careen out of control at 80mph and spinning through 3 lanes of traffic twice before coming to a stop in a ditch can put things in perspective, especially if you are the one driving.
For one thing, when you find a potato in the bag that looks like a butt, it is infinitely funnier than it would have been had you just made it home without incident.

Also, it’s a pretty good excuse to blow the diet on ice cream.
All things considered, we are damned lucky to have not been harmed in any way, and it’s a good thing the driver of the minivan didn’t stop because I’d have consumed his soul from the inside and made him weep for death.

Thank you, Ethan.
Thank you for everything. It’s been fun as hell.
HUZZAH!

“I would make a stop action animation of a long shoelace being pulled out of the butt of one of those fainting goats.”
Sure, it’s out of context, but really, what kind of context could that possibly be in?

I’m falling in love with Peter Jennings