Category Archives: Blab

All is well

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He made it through his surgery just fine. He wants a root beer float and a gin and tonic, so he’s back to himself as well.
The most perplexing thing was that they took pictures with the teeny cameras inside him and printed them up, leaving them in his room. He, my sister and I just sat there looking at them like “is that a stomach? eeew what’s that??
Did they expect us to order up wallet sizes or maybe an 8×10 for the mantel? Looks like the family christmas card is taken care of.
In other news…I finally purchased my new mattress and in the process challenged 3 people to fight me. Also, when I went to set up delivery the woman said, “oooh is this your first big-girl bed??” um, I’m 31. Big-girl bed? Seriously? I guess it’s like being carded for cigarettes or something, you just pretend like it’s flattering and move on.
In case you didn’t know, this is my PSA to you all, old suburban women don’t like when you yell, “I’m fuckin’ hungry now, ya know” and then look at your sister and threaten to kick her ass if she can’t name the movie (Fargo). Follow it up with some choice quotes from The Breakfast Club and you’ve got a party.

This…that and the other

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Just another one of those random posts
I woke up this morning feeling like I had overindulged last night. I went over the checklist of things I had to do to make me feel better, shower, coffee, french toast. Then it occurs to me that not only did I not overindulge last night, I hadn’t even partaken AND I went to bed early. Dang. All the hangover, none of the fun.
Met Owen for brunch, french toast! We caught up on our lives and mocked the horrendous toupé and ate our french toast. Good times.
Luckily, Owen was there when I went to start my car and discovered the dead battery. Dang again. He gave me a jump (with me being all ‘don’t blow my car up!!’) and I got my car over to the garage. New battery, oil change, lotsa car love.
Jen and I took the puppy to the lake and let him run around a bit. Happy puppy running in the sun, rolling in the grass, chewing on his meaty, chewy treat. Unfortunately, the grass was just wet enough that when he rolled in it he managed to get grass stains all over himself. He needs a bath now. Lucky guy.
When we put the house on the market we packed a lot of stuff thinking we’d be moving soon. We were wrong, I need my crock pot. I dug it out and now I have a lovely pot roast chugging away in the kitchen. mmm hot roast beef sandwiches.
I had a dream last night that a friend of mine and I were back in high school. We had decided to play hooky and go back to his place. He picked me up and on the way to his house he made me stop at the school and pick up my homework. Before we had any illicit school-skipping fun he insisted that we do our homework first and he was going to have to help me. I love when my dreams take my real life and make things obvious. He’s totally my smart, responsible friend.
The weird thing is that it was the first “i’m back in school” dream where I didn’t get lost in the building trying to find my locker.
This morning I almost skinned the puppy alive when I walked out of the shower and found he had chewed the shit out of my security blanket (yes, I have a security blanket, shut up or I’ll kick your ass. Hard). I didn’t kill him, but I made him stay away from me. He managed to keep a five foot distance from me at all times and whined pitifully the whole time. It’s so hard to stay mad at him.
I borrowed the Babylon 5 dvd’s from Alan. I’ve been watching obsessively. Season one was not so good, but it’s getting better. My question is, why are all space seeresses bald?
Roast is cooking. Yum.

Joy is

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Coming to work and finding a mini cupcake on your desk.
Also, surprise phone calls from Ireland, lobster shaped bottle openers, and the promise of vietnamese round noodle soup with pork and burnt shallots for lunch. Yum.

almost…gone

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Sadly, I had to cancel the date with Russ tonight in order to prepare for another open house. Buy my house already!! So instead of gigabit network switches and…well, it’s spot cleaning the carpet and making it look like fashionable spartans live here.
Well, I guess this means that I have more time to pack, or something.
Okay, also, I discovered where to get cheap cigarettes. They were out of my trashy Camel Lights, so I decided to order 2 cartons ($32 total WITH shipping) of the oh so swank European Camel Lights. Figured they were the same thing, but with pretty blue packaging. I’m wrong so often, you’d think I’d be used to it by now. European efficiency shines through in these smokes! They smoke faster, not sure why, but it means I smoke more. The filter is way less dense so I get more tar, formeldehyde and arsenic in my lungs with every puff. They also just seem to be a harsher blend of tobacco, chemicals and poisons. I’m getting cancer quicker and more efficiently than I would have on my normal lazy, American, pig-dog cigarettes. (I had to take out my little german phrase here as Babelfish translated ‘Cancers of the world unite’ into ‘crabs of the world unite’ thinking I was refering to the astrological sign. As humorous as I think it is to call together the crustaceans of the world and have them rise up against you, I just don’t think it’s germane to the conversation at hand)
One more thing…
Today I received a text message from a friend. He sent me a compliment that meant the world to me…
“Myself and Geoff were just out for a drink and we both agreed that you have the most beautiful, mirthful and infectious laugh of anyone we know.”
Made me want to cry to read that. Thank you, boys, it made my day.
Cancer break then more carpet cleaning fun!