I saw a cop with an elaborate and very colorful Japanese sleeve. I sat there wondering what the story was on that. Initial impressions of him, his slightly greying hair, aviator sunglasses, trite, almost ironic mustache didn’t really scream “I sport an elaborate and very pretty tattoo that covers most of my arm”. This wasn’t an old tattoo, it was very very new, in fact from what I could see, it was still in progress.
Of course it was hard to pay attention to him when all the action was taking place around the insanely drunk or stoned individual passed out on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant where I was having lunch.
I’ve seen many a drunk-rousts in my time, and I’m always a little surprised by how callous and rough they are. Of course I understand that when someone over indulges in such a manner that they are immobilized on the sidewalk on a bright thursday morning you aren’t exactly inclined to hold their head while they sip water. The paramedics were doing some sort of digging the knuckles into the sternum and shaking business as the cops searched the guy’s back pack for clues to what might have induced such a reaction.
Speaking of lunch, Alan called me up and invited me to lunch. A pleasant surprise on a day when my crankiness level actually caused me to get pissed and snap at my boss. I never do this and I think he was as surprised as I was. Later he called me passive aggressive and I told him I could become overtly aggressive if he kept pushing me.
I’ll be taking a day or two off in the near future.
I like the flavor combination of drinking an americano and eating a banana. The coffee makes the banana taste more banana-y. or something. I don’t know. The coffee, the banana, it’s like a taste carnival.
The inspector didn’t buy my unsubstantiated story that there was nothing wrong with the chimney. Fuck all.
Actually, I can pinpoint today’s crankinesss to the inspector and the chimney issue. Today would have been as beautiful as yesterday but it started with a giant rock tumbling back into the pit of my stomach.
So instead of dwelling on the nebulous anxiety of THE HOUSE and all its issues both physical and emotional, let’s dwell on how much fun it is to hang with the dudes.
peep out

I have this coworker. He’s an asshole. He is NOT the guy I despise and hate, that’s a different guy in my department. Mr asshole is generally an okay guy but he has these really assholish tendencies that occasionally force us to look at him and say “Stop being such a prick!”.
Actually, I’m the only one who says ‘prick’ and ‘asshole’, everyone else tries to be more diplomatic about it.
He broke up with his girlfriend of a couple of years about 6 or 8 weeks ago and things have gotten quite a bit worse since then. Obviously, we understand that people get cranky and stressed and pissed off during a time like this, but he’s reached the end of his grace period. He’s spent the last few weeks trying to pick fights with people and that’s not cool. It’s especially not cool to try to pick fights with me.
His other issue is that he complains incessantly about his ex. Now, granted, this is no different from when they were together, he complained about her incessantly then and I was always telling him to break up with her so they could both be happy. Now that they have broken up I get to hear all about how he’s POSITIVE she’s dating again. He’s just positive and don’t I think there’s something wrong with that? Don’t I think it’s weird that she’s dating already??
Actually, no, I don’t think it’s weird. I think nothing gets the nasty aftertaste of the end of a bad relationship out of your mouth like a good blow job, but that’s just my opinion. More importantly, it’s none of his business. They’re not together anymore, she’s not beholden to him, she owes him nothing and he needs to let this go. This isn’t a trial seperation or just some time apart, their relationship has ended. They are both free to embark on whatever adventures they choose.
He’s a little obsessed about this.
The other thing, though, is that he just needs some friends. Even he’s admitted he doesn’t really have any friends. There’s no one he knows that he wants to hang out with. I told him to go make friends, but I don’t really know how one goes about making friends. I can think about each and every one of my friends and I can think about how we came to know each other and how we came to be friends. Every case is different. I honestly don’t know how one goes about making friends. I have a pile of friends in varying degrees of closeness and each one feels like a completely special circumstance. Perhaps that’s why I hold my friends so dearly, because I see each one as coming from some completely special moment?
Anyway, how does one go about making friends? How do you meet people to turn into your friends? Keeping the friends is going to be a much different task for him, but we’ll go in baby steps here.

Yeah so I wrote this long thing about how crazy people were a lot like bumble balls. It amused the hell out of me but it was rather obscure. Crazy people. Bumble Balls. I think it was foretold in the scriptures or something.
Let’s see…
Same old crap, I hate the weather, I’m busy with house things, the dog is cute and handsome and doglike. I don’t sleep enough, work is stupid busy.
blah blah blah.
Dena and Levi are coming over to help pack tomorrow and I am torn between making something for dinner or picking something up. Needs to be vegan. I can easily cook vegan, but I want to spend as much time as possible packing.
Anyone want to be a whip crackin motivator and help me pack? I’ll make/buy you dinner and give you beer.

When you write about the centipede in your kitchen and you are trying to find a link about it you end up seeing shit like this. This is why I never ever sleep.

(No, I didn’t get promoted, that’s what spongebob chants on his way to work at the beginning of the spongebob movie)
It’s may. It’s fucking cold out and it keeps snowing. Little flurries that won’t stick, but snowing nonetheless. I hate Minnesota weather. I need to move. One day I will.
Here are some pointless items from my life.
Item: David and I went to see Pooh’s Heffalump movie yesterday. I’m not a Pooh fan, I never read the books when I was a kid, I never saw the movies, I didn’t really know much about them. I have Tigger Ears which I adore but more for their cuteness and not any great knowledge or love of Tigger. After seeing the movie I can safely say that I’d probably go see another Pooh movie but I’m no real fan. I liked Roo and I liked the Heffalump and Tigger was kinda cool but he had a really small part. The rest of the characters…well…hmmm
Also, I went and saw the movie at the Cinema Grill where they bring you hamburgers and grilled cheese and sada while you watch your movie. We placed out order. Waited. Waited. Waited. Waited. She brought us the bill and we pointed out that we never got our food (seems odd to bring us a bill for food we never got). She proclaimed that she knew we hadn’t gotten our food, the movie was too short to bring us our food and we could take it home with us. The movie was 68 minutes long. Does it take 68 minutes to fry aa hamburger, cook a grilled cheese and make up some fries?? Possibly if you are slaughtering the hamburger buns yourself instead of buying pre-made hamburger buns. Also, don’t blame the length of the movie for your business’ incompetence. We chose to not take the food with us and went next door to Panera.
Item: Panera has pretty good bread. I was surprised.
Item: I am obsessed with bread lately. Whenever I see bread for sale i want to buy some. I want all kinds of bread. I don’t know why. Bread. Craving bread. I even bought those frozen dough loaves so I could bake up bread whenever I felt like it. I do think I want to replace my bread machine. I used to have a fabulous bread machine, that thing was a work horse and we worked it right to death over the years. We replaced it with a cheaper machine thinking there couldn’t really be a difference. We were wrong. i hated that bread machine, it never mixed the dough completely so you’d end up with this overly wet lump in the middle surrounded by all the dry ingredients. If I have to stand there and monitor the machine throughout the process then I may as well make the bread myself. Having to monitor the machine constaantly defeats the purpose of buying a machine to make the bread for you.
Item: My dvd player is pulling a Schiavo on me. It looks and acts like it should work, but just when you get your hopes up, it doesn’t. New DVD player before bread machine. Anyone want to donate a dvd player to the case. and by cause I mean me.
Item: My mother would be glad to know that I still remember how to pray the rosary (though I had to clarify the last line of the Hail Mary, just to be sure). No, I did not ACTUALLY pray the rosary. Sorry.
Item: I move in 12 days. I’m not ready.
Item: The dog is getting better but he still coughs occasionally. I don’t like when he coughs, it makes me nervous.
Item: Still working on the travelogue. I really need to find the balance between excessive, uninteresting detail and missing out on stuff.
Item: Time Warner still hasn’t fixed my bill. I hate them. I still need to set up service at the new place.
Item: A nice thing is a lunch made by another person for you to bring to work with you. I’ve always been a huge sucker for little things like that. I told everyone who would listen…”David made my lunch for me”.
Item: Looking at used cars, just to see what’s out there. I’m a sucker for a certain kind of car, classy and sleek but not obnoxious. I did, however, find a super cheap Audi TT for sale with low mileage. The previous owner had his fun then had kids and couldn’t keep the car for practical reasons. Let me tell you…there was temptation. Also looking at used BMW’s. I suck.
Item: Dinner with my dad tonight. Still need to buy beer for me. Would like to take a nap.
Item: Mother’s Day is coming up. I am without ideas. Help.