Okay, instead of using this space to talk about my retarded handling of my retardedness, I’ll just ramble on about what I heard on NPR tonight.
They were talking about the people who bury the unclaimed in Iraq. People are being killed all the time in Bagdad and for the most part their bodies are immediately claimed by their families and given a proper burial.
During Saddam’s regime, when political prisoners were tortured and killed, if no one came to claim the bodies, they were thrown into a pit for dogs to eat. A man saw this and knew it was wrong. He put together a group and they went to the morgues and started claiming the unclaimed bodies. They gave them a proper and respectful burial. He does this for no charge.
He said he had hoped with Saddam gone his activities would decrease or even cease. He was wrong. His work has increased ten-fold as suicide bombings and sniper attacks and kidnappings and beheadings and all that increase. He takes all unclaimed bodies regardless of religion or sect. He takes them all because they all deserve a proper burial. They deserve repsect even in death.
He even takes the bodies of the suicide bombers. He makes no distinction, he buries them all in the cemetery, even those who we would say do not deserve it. He is poor, living in Bagdad’s slums. He does this because his religion teaches him that you never allow a dead body to be defiled, not even that of a dog’s. He does it because regardless of what a person has done, they are still human and they deserve at least that much respect.
I want to have that respect in my heart. I want to be able to say “you have done terrible things but still i would do for you a charitable thing”. I wish I could be that person. I wish I could say, “you wronged me, you did this thing to me, still I hold you dear. I will give you what ou need”.
At the very least, most of the people I treat with neutrality. Very few are ever looked upon with enmity. I have much to learn from those people. They are the ones I need to reconcile. One day at least.

There is much happiness in my heart right now. maybe it has to do with Cupcake, maybe it has to do with forgiveness, maybe it just has to do with bheebhoobheebhoo. I don’t know.
I feel lighter. I feel happier.
I want to write about Ethiopian food and pms and new dog collars and sunburn and camping.
Maybe later.
I’ll leave you with this…
When i say ‘Jetsy’ you say ‘Zitron’
Jetsy!

You totally thought it was worth it, didn’t you?
Last night I had the absolute saddest dream I think I’d ever had. I had been stealing money from work and calling in sick so I could go shopping (one of my coworkers got busted for that and she’s totally being prosecuted for it. I think that’s why THAT is in my head). I got busted and had to go to jail. David was with me when i got arrested and was shocked and really sad. I wanted to go to him and comfort him but I knew that he would want nothing to do with me now that I was going to prison. When I got to prison I realized I would not be able to update my website or check my email which also saddened me (dork.). The first night I went to sleep in prison, after my mom handcuffed me to the bed, I realized I would never see david again. I woke up crying.
I love and hate dreams like that. I hate waking up crying but I love how vivid they are. They melt into my brain like real memories. I was sad for a good part of the morning, every time I thought about the dream I wanted to cry. Sad.
I’m over it now.
I need to order things from the intarweb. mmmshopping.
Also, sometimes I wish I ran a betting operation. I bet I’d make one sweet bookie. Ya know?

yank yank yank
tug tug tug
I ate too much Colombian food for breakfast. It’s hot as fuck and sunny and windy. I’m doing laundry and dishes. There is nothing exciting.
Well, I’m planning food for the party, that’s sort of exciting. I have this one hors d’oeuvres cookbook that is some sort of bizarre anachronism for 1996 when it was published. It offers up recipes for broiled prunes with blue cheese and fish mousse piped on to rye bread. I keep it because it has good techniques for things like stuffed croissants.
Did I mention how hot it was outside? It’s hot. And humid.
I go camping in a week. I am going to die.
I will be dead. hahahahahaha

If you are in a triathlon you swim, then bike, then run. If you are the girlfriend of someone in a triathlon you run from point to point, stand in the heat and sun and wait patiently for your person to fly by so you can take a picture of their back.
Also, you get sunburned.
The stuff triathletes eat for energy or protein or repleneshing or whatever…that shit’s nasty. All weird textures and all too sweet, too tart, too oogly! But, at these things they’re free so you eat them anyway!
Um.. up too late last night, up real early this morning, spent some time with my duplex buddy, dinner out…tired…mom here. tired.
someone set us up the bomb?
YOU set up you the bomb!