These are the courses provided by the Greater Bathroom and Hallway Community College this semester
Computer Knowing 105 Class ID: 80085 Instructor : Maddie
Schedule : Weekly – Tue Breakfast:00 AM – 12:00 PM; 8 sessions; starting 6/15/2014, ending 8 weeks later
Location : In the bathroom, by where the toilet paper is.
Learn important computer related skills like how to stand on a keyboard, the right way to spill water into a laptop and how to be okay, as well as simple basics like scrolling up or down, right click vs left click, how to tell if your computer is on and how to do ctrl-alt-del. Two sessions will make use of the parachute. Plated sandwiches and whole milk provided on request.
Tuition: $27.00 Materials Cost: $8.75
How to know stuff 30009 Class ID: F4rt84ll5 Instructor : Chester 12Pound
Schedule : Weekly – Mon 11:00 AM – Snack treat time PM; 8 sessions; starting 6/sometime/2014, ending 8/something/2014
Location : In front of the wine rack.
Do you know things? We can all agree that we should know things. Chester wants to explore all the ways you can know things and give you the guidance to start your own journey towards knowing the thing that is all of the stuff. Chester’s mantra “KNOWING IS A THING YOU SHOULD DO!!” will permeate the entire course. This class has multiple field trip sessions where you will start to know things like how to scream ‘NO NO NO’ at people at intersections, finding inside out toads, and understanding that Bick Stickerson has the stupidest dumb face and he should go cough into his own dumb face!!
Tuition: $93.00 ($21 if you hate Bick Stickerson) Materials Cost: 3 peanut butter biscuits
PANIC SHITS!! 101 Class ID: 5m3ll Instructor : Maddie
Schedule : Weekly – Thu 4:00 PM – 8:45PM; 8 sessions; starting maybe next week, ending when we start to feel good about our skills.
Location : the bedroom floor
We’ve all had times when we were left alone or the phone rang unexpectedly or the food bowl was empty and it had lots of food in it before and maybe Chester is eating all the food. Anyone can shit on the floor but it might be time to take it a step further. Maddie will share her almost encyclopedic knowledge of the art of the panic shit emphasizing nuance and artistry. Topics covered with include placement, size, how to get the maximum effect, consistency and smell. This is more than just putting poop on the floor, come prepared to work hard and learn. The final class will touch on how to hide your panic shits using laundry, papers, a lamp or any other easy to find materials as a brief introduction to next semester’s PANIC SHITS 201. Students will be responsible for making their own shits, feces will NOT be provided.
Tuition: $19 Materials Cost: $0