Communiqué

So today I got an email from someone I didn’t particularly want to respond to as I don’t really care for the person. The email asked me the state of an object. I really didn’t want to respond, mostly because it was entirely moot and unimportant but also because I just didn’t care. The only response I could come up with was “I fed it a french fry and it died”.
I didn’t send it. Responses like that would totally get me cemented into the ‘highly crazy’ slot in life and while this is a highly coveted spot, I prefer myself ranked in the ‘slightly less crazy’ field.
It was decided though, that “I fed it a french fry and it died” is the perfect response to almost any “what happened to X?” query.
“What happened to the remote?”
“I fed it a french fry and it died.”
“Where is the bucket I keep under the sink?”
“I fed it a french fry and it died.”
“Have you seen my first edition copy of ‘True Thai’ by Victor Sodsok, I’m sure I left it in the kitchen and now I just don’t see it.”
“I fed it a french fry and it died.”
Semi-relatedly, I’m still not answering my phone very much. It’s not you specifically that I don’t want to talk to, it’s just that I don’t want to be on my phone. Also, I am DEFINITELY not answering any ‘Private Number’ or ‘Unknown Caller’ numbers. Screw you, I don’t like surprises on my phone so unblock your number or leave a message.
Unpacking is coming along steadily. I own more bras that I never wear than almost anyone I know! I’m starting in the back of the house as that is the least overwhelming. The bathroom was super easy. Bedroom is not so bad, I have more clothes than the law allows (even after purging!) so a lot of those will be stored in the dining room closet (weird, I know, but people in the ‘good old days’ apparently never needed closet space.).
Power to the people.